Uh-oh, says everyone on internet

AS a man was jailed for internet abuse, everyone with a computer has spent the last 12 hours frantically deleting as much as they possibly can.

'Probably shouldn't have threatened to behead him with a saw'

Sean Duffy was sentenced to 18 weeks in prison for being only slightly worse than you when you accuse people who disagree with you of being ‘a bit like Joseph Fritzl’.

Now Britain is humming with the sound of tens of millions of people sending emails to defence solicitors with the subject line: “Could we claim ‘temporary insanity’?”

Wayne Hayes, an IT consultant and member of 182 sites under the pseudonym ‘Sheeple69’ said: “What kind of world are we living in if you can’t publish the details of the suicide of the mother of someone who thinks Arrested Development is better than Nurse Jackie?

“When Tim Berners-Lee first switched on the internet, his homepage already had two dozen messages on it from complete strangers saying the system didn’t work properly and accusing him of being a paedophile.

“Virulent, baseless and anonymous internet abuse is as natural as eating, breathing or pointing and laughing at a procession of funeral cars.”

Human rights groups have criticised the Duffy case, saying it criminalises being an asocial fucknut and questioned whether the prison system will be able to hold absolutely everyone.

Campaigner Roy Hobbs said: “If these people weren’t sat at home, painstakingly mocking up Youtube videos of natural disaster sites to the sound of the Benny Hill theme tune, they’d be doing whatever you do when you’re not calling for Jan Moir to be murdered.”

Twitter has reported that its traffic is already down by 65% following the conviction and is now just Stephen Fry being immensely proud of Hugh Laurie.

Meanwhile MySpace said it welcomed any abusive messages people wish to post on its site, just so they have a reason to leave the bloody thing switched on.