BMW driver treated for exposure to non-classic rock

A BMW driver has been hospitalised after more than a minute’s exposure to music that was neither classic nor rock. 

43-year-old Tom Logan was driving at 90mph on the M1 when he suddenly realised that his shuffled playlist had finished and he was hearing music that was not only made recently but by women and not using guitars. 

Logan said: “I was trying to place whether it was from the 70s Fleetwood Mac album or the 80s Fleetwood Mac album, then I realised: that isn’t Stevie Nicks. Nor is it the other one. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got eclectic taste. Sometimes I listen to classic music that isn’t rock, or rock music that isn’t classic. 

“But this was neither. I swerved wildly across three lanes of traffic, trying desperately to get it off before its terrifying modernity penetrated my brain, just managing to wedge an Aerosmith CD into the slot before I hit a family car and mercifully blacked out. 

“I’m being treated with courses of 70s Floyd, Led Zep and Eagles and I’m expected to make a full recovery. But it’s a terrible shame about my car, and I suppose the other 18 vehicles involved.” 

Logan added: “What on earth is a ‘Dua Lipa’? And more importantly, why?”