Bride’s pre-wedding nightmare proves 100 percent accurate

A BRIDE’S pre-wedding nightmare where everything went wrong on her big day turned out to be spot on, it has been confirmed.

Bride, Eleanor Davis, said: “First, my makeup artist pulled out at the last minute, which was exactly what happened in the nightmare. So I had to do my own makeup.

“Wonky eyeliner. Shit!

“Then, when I got to the church, instead of my dad waiting to walk me down the aisle it was Mr Lawson, my year four teacher, but he was nine feet tall, dressed as an evil clown and holding a red balloon.

“Then I realised I was one of those blue cat people from Avatar and I’d forgotten my vows. I tried to remember them, but I could only think in a weird hybrid of French and Swahili, which is bizarre, because I don’t speak either of those languages.

“When I got to the altar I knew my fiancé, Steve, would be there but, sure enough, instead of arms and legs, he had tentacles. Then all of our guests started pelting us with fish fingers and the vicar kept running outside to bark at pigeons because he was an Irish wolfhound.”

Davis said the honeymoon was also exactly like her nightmare as the hotel was managed by Lorraine Kelly.