Latent Homosexuality Drops To 36%

JUST over one third of the UK population is still claiming that same sex relationships are wrong while secretly dreaming of hot gay action, according to new research.

36% think these men are all wet and wrong

The latest social attitudes survey found that 64% of the population are now comfortable enough with their sexuality to openly declare that they have no problem with two men exchanging wet, hungry kisses as their eager hands search desperately for the buttons and zips that long to be undone.

But the research found that 36% continue to condemn gay acts while stubbornly refusing to admit their unquenchable thirst for the moist, pulsating flesh of a fellow man or woman.

Researcher Dr Tom Logan said: "Usually, if you ask a genuine heterosexual whether homosexuality is right or wrong, they will say either 'how can it possibly be wrong?' or, more often, 'I don't care, it's none of my business'.

"Occasionally you will get someone who says that it 'looks a bit sore', but that's not the same as 'wrong'."

Dr Logan said it was easier than ever for British men to declare their homosexuality thanks to a combination of changing attitudes and the fact that the vast majority of television programmes now seem to be made especially for them.

He added: "It's a safe bet that anyone who is still using the word 'wrong' to describe homosexuality is simultaneously thinking about throbbing members and where they would like to put them or – if they are a lady – frenzied muff-snorkelling.

"And never forget that it's the devoutly religious people who condemn homosexuality who are generally the ones most in need of a long weekend in the Lake District, scrambling their way to the top of a well-oiled body-builder."