Man has nightmare he’s expecting third child

A FATHER has woken up sweating and terrified from a nightmare that his wife was pregnant with their third child.

Tom Booker, from Leatherhead, who already has two school-age children and hopes he will never change a nappy again, admitted that he was still deeply traumatised at midday.

He said: “It seemed so real. So real.

“My wife announced it like it was good news and I took it the same way, but then I remembered the nights. The screams. The endless parade of shit. Being unable to leave the house without 15 cubic feet of equipment.

“Normally my nightmares are about the zombie apocalypse or being sentenced to death for a crime I may or may not have committed. You know, stuff you can cope with.

“I sat up in bed, heart racing, thinking ‘fuck, fuck fuck, fuck, no, no, no, no’.

“When I told my wife she went white just at the thought. But she reassured me that it couldn’t ever actually happen, because we never have sex.”