Opponents of assisted suicide still convinced it’s any of their business

PEOPLE opposed to assisted suicide are still absolutely convinced it is any of their business, according to a new survey.

The poll asked, ‘Someone you don’t know with a horrible disease wants a close friend or relative to help them end their lives – what the fuck has it got to do with you?’.

According to the survey 11 percent said ‘a bit the fuck to do with me’, 30 percent said ‘a lot the fuck to do with me’ and 18 percent said that absolutely everything was their business all the time.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “While there is always the risk of someone using it as a cover for actual homicide, in the vast majority of cases it really is absolutely none of your business.

“So just shut up.”

Terminal illness sufferer Julian Cook, from Grantham, added: “If they’re so sure it’s their business then perhaps they could give my wife the afternoon off and and look after me while telling me lots of fascinating things about Jesus.”