THE home secretary has confirmed that when the country comes together to clap for carers, they are tacitly excluding any foreign nationals below the £25,000 threshold.
HOMESCHOOLED children are memorising a list of educational activities to claim they completed when their teachers ask.
If your children don't get a total of seven days school before summer they will be thick forever, government confirms
THE government has warned that if children do not get seven days education over the next two months they will always be thickos.
ENGLAND has been making the most of the freedom to meet a lone friend in a park to mouth the hell off about their f**khead partners.
WE all thought 2016 was terrible at the time, but the year of celebrity deaths, Brexit and Trump was a walk in the park compared to 2020. Here’s why.
A WOMAN is planning to stand and applaud her cleaner from a very safe distance at the top of the stairs.
BRITONS are wondering if applauding the NHS is a genuinely good thing or if they are just pathetically following the herd.
ESSENTIAL workers have expressed happiness and relief that golf courses are open again.
THE UK’s favourite leisure activity is now snitching on other Britons for violating the laws of lockdown in some way.
A COUNTRY forming celebratory conga lines as recently as this weekend has been told to use its innate common sense to figure out lockdown restrictions.
CAPTAIN Tom Moore has asked Britain to sponsor him on his latest charity drive to walk the Inca Trail in Peru.
SCHOOL has been redefined for a generation as one hour plugged into an app followed by five hours in the garden, kids have confirmed.