Society

Woman with 'Live Laugh Love' picture looks like she wants to kill everyone

A WOMAN who keeps a framed picture that says ‘Live Laugh Love’ on her office desk confusingly appears to be a right cow.

Monks wondering why God wants them to make shitload of beer

MONKS have asked why God needs them to make lots of quite strong beer.

Elaborate sexual fantasy gets too elaborate

A MAN’S elaborate sexual fantasy has become too elaborate to be manageable, he has admitted.

Are you writing an interesting tweet or just a desperate plea for attention?

DO you mean what you say on Twitter or are you just writing attention-seeking bollocks in a pathetic attempt to get people to notice you? Here’s how to tell.

Mumsnet admits it is also the Illuminati

THE parenting website Mumsnet has revealed that it is actually a front for the shadowy cabal that controls the world.

What inappropriate comments are you making?

ARE you that person who takes pride in saying things that make people uncomfortable or upset? Here are some excellent inappropriate ice-breakers.

How to feel betrayed by everything

WHY stop at politicians and Brexit? Betrayal is everywhere, everyone is a backstabber, and your only hope is to be hysterical about it. Here’s how to be double-crossed by everything.

Youngest siblings most likely to be d*cks

THE youngest sibling in a family has an 85 per cent chance of being the most annoying dick in that family, studies have shown.

Audible gasp in Waitrose cafe as woman arrives without KeepCup

A WOMAN who really needed a coffee faced public humiliation after trying to order at a Waitrose cafe without a reusable cup.

The bellend's guide to winning the Lottery

IF you win the Lottery it’s traditional to make a series of terrible life decisions and somehow end up skint. Follow our guide to squandering your fantastic opportunity.

'Donate Notre Dame money to different charity' says man who has never donated to anything

A MAN who has never given money to charity has decided there are worthier causes than Notre Dame Cathedral.

Man's high IQ has not stopped him wanking on about it

A MAN with a very high IQ score has not used his intelligence to realise that everyone would like him to shut the fuck up about it.