Man finds human-sized shoe at TK Maxx

A MAN has stumbled across a shoe suitable for a regular human being at TK Maxx.

Man who didn't put happy moment on Instagram surprised he still enjoyed it

FAILING to post a photo of every single vaguely pleasant moment of your life does not mean you are not having a good time, it has emerged.

Middle-class man blessed with ability to communicate with tradesmen

A WELL-TO-DO man has amazed friends by being able to communicate with his builders as easily as if they were from his own social class.

Record-breaking dog turd ruins day of 18 people

A SINGLE dog turd has outmatched all predecessors by ruining the days of 18 different people.

Man starts another pointless f**king project

A MAN has started another stupid fucking waste of time, he has confirmed.

People moaning on about Christmas stuff in shops getting earlier every year

THE annual festival of whinging about premature displays of Christmas goods in shops is getting earlier every year, it has been confirmed.

If I move down any more I'll practically be shagging someone, says man on Tube

A MAN asked to 'move down' a packed tube carriage has pointed out there was nowhere for him to go without becoming extremely intimate with other people.

'Suggestion noted' thinks cyclist approaching red light

A CYCLIST approaching a busy city crossing decided to regard a red light as advice to bear in mind rather than an order to stop.