Society
Elderly white man perfectly capable of deciding what is is racist or not, thank you
AN 68-YEAR-OLD white man has declared that he needs no assistance when it comes to determining what is racist, or, is almost always the case, not in the least racist.
What sort of denialism is right for you?
WOULD you like to refuse to accept well-established facts? Find out which form of denialism is best for you.
The highlights of the next decade, in advance
THE cultural and political highlights of the next ten years have been announced in advance to avoid anyone missing them.
Northern Tory voter can't wait for Middlesbrough to be like Hampstead
A NORTHERNER who voted Conservative is looking forward to his hometown of Middlesbrough becoming affluent, leafy and packed with intellectuals.
Man going back to live with parents for sheer joy of their company
A 30-YEAR-OLD man has gone back to live with his parents, insisting he really enjoys their company.
Stranger made conversation at urinal
A STRANGER has attempted to strike up a conversation with the man urinating next to him, it has emerged.
Britain is top place to live, claims sarcastic think tank
BRITAIN is one of the best places in the world, according to a sarcastic think tank.
Seven reasons why the 2010s can f*ck right off
THERE are many, many reason why the last decade can go piss up a rope, but here's seven for starters...
Child begins urgent colouring task just before leaving house
A CHILD has begun the urgent creation and colouring-in of a picture just moments before he needs to leave the house.
How to survive a packed Christmas train
IF you’re going home for Christmas by train, it will be rammed with inconsiderate b*stards. Here’s how to get through the ordeal.
F**king show-off sends Christmas cards
A WOMAN has only gone and posted everyone lovely, thoughtful Christmas cards like a f**king ars*hole.
The Tory voter’s guide to the poor at Christmas
CHRISTMAS is a time to remember the less well-off, and remember it’s their own fault. Here’s how compassionate Conservative voters can help them.