Man reluctantly removes 'junglist' from his dating profile

A MAN has reluctantly taken the word 'junglist' out of his dating profile.

Club 18-30 relaunched for angsty millennials

BOOZY Club 18-30 package holidays are being updated for introspective, self-obsessed millennials, it has been confirmed.

Everyone waiting for bit of conversation where they get to talk

EVERYONE in every conversation is actually just waiting for the other person to shut up so they can talk, research has found.

Woman who bought quirky and original Fiat 500 passes 11 others driving it back from garage

A QUIRKY woman who bought a Fiat 500 to prove her individuality drove past 11 similar cars while taking it home, it has emerged.

People who push others out of their comfort zone told to mind their own f**king business

PEOPLE who coerce others into doing things outside of their 'comfort zone' have been told to fuck off. 

We still look up 'tits' in the dictionary, confirm schoolchildren

SECONDARY schoolchildren across the UK have confirmed that despite this modern internet age they still look up rude words in the dictionary.

Builders actually intellectual ponces when you're not around

BUILDERS’ blokey behaviour is put on to disguise their pretentious cultural interests, it has emerged.  

£50m of extra schools funding going to Hogwarts

THE government has been criticised for giving all £50m of its new schools funding to the elitist institution Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.