'Miracle' mum learns to stick to relevant points of story

A MUM has baffled scientists by learning to tell a story in a clear and concise way.

Man so excellent at driving he can set his own speed limits

A DRIVER is so brilliant at controlling a car he knows exactly how fast he can go without crashing or mowing people down.

'Sympathetic' friend takes all of 35 seconds to start talking about own problems

A WOMAN going through a rough time cannot believe how quickly a friend hijacked the conversation and made it all about their own problems.

A day in the life of a 'gammon'

HAVE you ever wondered what it’s like being a permanently furious middle-aged white man? Here gammon Roy Hobbs describes a typical day.

Cryptic Facebook post fails to attract any pandering comments

A CRYPTIC Facebook post about 'fake people' has failed to achieve a single reaction, it has been revealed.

Man who waves at 'car twins' still at large

A MAN who waves at every car that is the same make and colour as his is still at large, authorities have warned.

Dad pranks son by saying he's proud of him

A FATHER has pranked his son by saying he's proud of him, it has been confirmed.

End of school holidays to fill roads with bastards again

THE end of the six-week summer holiday has seen peaceable, happy commuters turn back into a bunch of psychotic bastards again.