Woman injures herself clapping for NHS

A WOMAN has been forced to visit A&E after her clapping in support of the NHS led to a fractured wrist.

Bet you can't get through these six platonic physical touches without getting turned on

REMEMBER REMEMBER hugs? How innocent they were? Try getting through these non-sexual examples of physical contact without getting horny.

Country that's banged on about freedom for three years fine spending another month locked up

A COUNTRY that has spent the last three-and-a-half years obsessed with freedom is absolutely fine with being locked up until May.

Homeschooled child realises parents are f**king idiots

A HOMESCHOOLED child has realised he is both more intelligent and better educated than his clueless cretin parents.

F**k off and leave us alone, say old people

OLD people have requested bored younger people to please f**k off and leave them alone.

Days now take f**king weeks

THE UK has agreed that days at this point are taking weeks, and weeks are taking entire f**king years.

Five coronavirus lessons the world will instantly forget when this is over

HUMANITY has been reminded of what’s truly important by COVID-19. Here’s five lessons we’ll forget the moment it’s gone.

Well this is fun, say parents

PARENTS have confirmed that juggling working from home and educating young children while never going out is just an absolute f**king joy.

Family lifts nation's spirits by not making a video

IN a move set to cheer millions, a family has decided not to to record any heartwarming viral videos.

Dad watching old Grange Hill episodes for homeschooling advice

A FATHER who has no idea how to teach his kids at home has been consulting old episodes of Grange Hill on YouTube.

Hug and handshake ban 'no problem whatsoever,' say Sunderland men

THE men of Sunderland have assured the UK of their absolute compliance when it comes to social distancing.

How to outdo other families while never leaving home

THERE’S no lockdown on passive-aggressive one-upmanship, so here’s how to outdo the Joneses without leaving the house.