A FATHER has been feeding his child utter bollocks about being able to have any job they want when they grow up.
ARE you worried you’re not being goaded enough by the media over ISIS bride Shamima Begum? Read our checklist and see if you could be angrier.
A SUPPORTER of Brexit has been forced to stockpile a large number of Pot Noodles ‘just in case’, he has admitted.
A MOTORIST hopes the driver behind, who did not intend to allow her into traffic but had no choice, realises she was flashing her hazards sarcastically.
A FRIENDSHIP has come to a close with the words 'Let’s just pay for what we had', it has been confirmed.
TWO colleagues are going to the pub after work for just one quick bitch about the bastards in their office.
A MAN who everyone says is ‘good with children’ would be a horribly incompetent father, it has emerged.
ARE you a right-wing bellend who thinks racism against white people is a genuine problem? Here’s how to enjoy a pleasing sense of victimhood.
A TALL man behaves as if his above-average height is some sort of achievement, people have noticed.
A MAN buying a Valentines-themed meal deal in Asda is unlikely to get to use the condoms he’s also purchasing.
A WOMAN who keeps her house clean and tidy has a car like a dustbin, it has emerged.
A WOMAN is finding her latest bout of cystitis is a welcome distraction from Brexit.