Millennials cosplaying as homeowners

A NEW form of cosplay encourages millennials to dress up as homeowners.

Families gather to sing jolly songs about brutal execution

FAMILIES have joined together to sing jolly little songs about the time a man was brutally nailed to a cross.

Protesting is latest fad for middle class people who want to be different

MIDDLE CLASS people will spend the summer protesting about things to prove they are not typically middle class.

DIY dads to f**k up Britain

THE UK’s DIY dads have got their toolboxes out of the garage and are going to spend the next four days attempting to fix the problems facing Britain.

Should you correct that person's f**king awful grammar?

WHEN a person makes a grammatical mistake it’s tempting to correct them, to help them learn and make yourself feel clever. But should you? Read our guide.

How to pretend there's such a thing as being completely English

DEVASTATED to learn Stonehenge was built by Turkish migrants with imposing moustaches? Here’s how to reassert your fantasy that being a pure blood English native is a thing.

Was this the bus journey from hell or just a bus journey?

WERE you on the bus journey from the depths of Hades itself, or just a harrowing, soul-crushing everyday British bus journey?

Couples who buy each other Easter eggs told to grow up

COUPLES who buy each other Easter eggs need to grow the fuck up, relationship experts have confirmed.

32-year-old man still expects praise for parking

A DRIVER of 15 years’ standing still expects his excellent parking skills to be commented on by anyone in the passenger seat.

Gran sad about local high street hated guts of every shopkeeper

A PENSIONER who is distressed by the decline of her local high street had a bitter grievance against every shopkeeper when they were still in business.

How to be an utter bellend in a white van

IF you’ve got a Ford Transit and a bad attitude, you probably want to assert your authority over other road users. Here’s how to go about it.

Personalised number plates only 100% effective way to identify twats

A PERSONALISED number plate is the only sure-fire way to identify a twat, experts have confirmed.