THE city of London is a horrendously overcrowded ghost town, residents have confirmed.
SICK of school already? Fancy a skive? The coronavirus guidelines are your best friend. Here’s how to turn a pandemic to your advantage.
IT’S all we’ve heard since March. Homeschool, how hard homeschool is, balancing work and homeschool, etcetera. So how surprised I was to find your kids have learned absolutely f**k all.
THE nation’s mothers have told their children that mummy might need a little bit of help with walking straight when she comes to get them from school.
CYCLISTS riding in the bike lane are acting as if it is a special space they are entitled to, it has emerged.
The UK has collectively realised that it is August bank holiday and that miserable three months just past was its f**king summer.
THE Brummie accent is no longer a viable means of preventing pregnancy following the success of the BBC show Peaky Blinders.
THE Rule Britannia Proms controversy has made Britons angry and fearful, but sadly can’t go on forever. Let’s obsess about these next.
Homeless to be fined £20 million for sleeping in doorways because what f**king difference does it make?
HOMELESS people on the South Coast are to be given large fines for vagrancy because whether it is £20 or £20 million makes bugger all difference.
THIS year’s most popular baby names have been released with the usual strange choices like Kylo. Here’s how to curse your child with a daft name you think is great.
LIVID because woke millennials have pointed out your favourite National Trust property has links to slavery? Here’s how to rebrand your fury as opposition to ‘cultural vandalism’.
ARE you a bloodyminded parent who loves a good row with your local school? Make the most of your little ones going back with these tips.