A TEENAGER has become an object of intense sexual desire since he started riding round his area on an ear-splitting scooter.
UNIVERSITY is no longer a chilled-out haven of drug experimentation and skiving your way through a philosophy degree. See if you would fit in nowadays.
A STATUE of Margaret Thatcher is to be sent far beyond our solar system to protect it from vandalism.
A WOMAN who is wearing clothes that allow people to see she is pregnant is just flaunting herself, it has been claimed.
A MAN born more than three decades after the Second World War is acting like he flew Spitfires against the Luftwaffe.
A STONER has begun stockpiling the Italian confectionery Kinder Bueno in preparation for a no-deal Brexit.
A WOMAN with an entire table to herself on a train is getting steadily more anxious as passengers file past her.
CHILDREN can construct their own boarded-up UK towns using a new range of themed Lego.
IF you’re a dad with two kids and a semi there aren’t many chances to pretend you're an action hero - but the cold weather changes all that! Here’s what to do.
HAVE you ever wondered how Brexiters manage to have such a simplistic view of everything? Here Leave voter Norman Steele explains how the world works.
A MOTHER'S cupboard of expired medicine will enable her to act as a post-Brexit drug kingpin.
A WOMAN IN her late 40s who now rarely gets whistled at on the street by strange men is feeling a pleasant sense of relief, she has confirmed.