How to get through your child's sports match

IT’S FREEZING cold and it’s raining but you’ve still got to sit through your kid’s five-a-side game followed by two hours of touch-rugby. Here’s how to endure it.

House prices falling is terrible, homeowner tells renter friend

A HOMEOWNER feels a friend who rents should be more sympathetic about her not making as much money as she expected on a property.

Man 'weighing in' on debate about period poverty advised to get to f**k

A MAN who thought a conversation about ‘period poverty’ needed his ill-informed opinions has been told in strong terms that it did not.

The five most annoying habits of your retired parents

ARE you constantly driven up the wall by your elderly parents’ strange behaviour? Here’s how to cope with their most annoying habits.

Man calling himself 'self-styled' expert is definitely a prick

A MAN describing himself as a ‘self-styled’ expert is without doubt a d*ckhead, researchers have confirmed.

How to cope with the rest of your life when you peaked at secondary school

WERE you incredibly popular aged 11-16 but have since become one more drop in humanity’s ocean? Here’s what to do to feel special again.

Woman who hasn't undone hair bun in four days about to learn a lesson

A 30 YEAR-OLD woman is about to learn a harsh lesson after failing to undo her hair bun for four days.

Traffic pulls over to let ambulance and BMW driver pass, thinks BMW driver

A BMW driver is pretty confident that traffic that pulled over to let an ambulance pass also wanted his progress to be unimpeded.

How to tell someone you don't want to hold their horrible baby

KNOW new parents? Then you’re probably being given their precious bundle of foul odours and screams to hold. Here’s how to get out of it.

Woman referring to dogs as boyfriend and girlfriend

A WOMAN is behaving as if two dogs are in a relationship, it has emerged.

Dad’s short cut adds 15 minutes to journey

A FATHER of teenage boys has dodged traffic by taking a rat-run that added 15 minutes to a 20-minute journey, his children have confirmed.

Elderly white man perfectly capable of deciding what is is racist or not, thank you

AN 68-YEAR-OLD white man has declared that he needs no assistance when it comes to determining what is racist, or, is almost always the case, not in the least racist.