Society

What's your bullshit middle-class parenting style?

ARE you convinced you’ve got a brilliant parenting style, when really it’s just some bollocks you read in a Sunday supplement? Read our guide and find out.

Remainer with no chance of working abroad won't f**king shut up about working abroad

A REMAINER is convinced Brexit will stop him having an amazing life in a different country even though he is extremely talentless.

Five entertaining ways to trigger a gammon

ANGRY red-faced men are always criticising ‘snowflakes’ but are surprisingly easily triggered themselves. Why not set them off with these made-up ‘facts’?

Cafe owner going to kill laptop-using twat

A COFFEE shop owner is about to murder the Mac user who has bought one cup of tea in three hours, it has emerged.

Millennials 'too self-righteous to have sex'

MILLENNIALS are too busy penning scathing comment pieces about how angry they are at baby boomers to have sex, a new study has found.

Brexiters told to try walking away with 'no deal' in everyday life and see how that works for them

BREXITERS keen on leaving the EU with no deal have been told to try walking away without a deal in their personal transactions and then report back. 

Amnesty International secures release of Coco, the Coco Pops monkey

COCO the Coco Pops monkey has been freed, emaciated and blinking at the light, by campaigners from Amnesty International. 

Man who argued with cretins online forgot he didn't have to

A MAN who spent ages arguing with idiots online had forgotten that he does not actually need to do that.  

Commuters get to work quicker than usual by walking along the tracks

RAIL victims have had a more efficient journey to work than normal by just walking along the tracks.

Nice couple sound like murderers when discussing their inheritance

A PLEASANT couple suddenly become very cold and calculating when talking about their elderly parents’ deaths, friends have revealed.

The mum's guide to pretending your child is not a total little bastard

AS the parent of a toddler, do you feel your little angel can do no wrong? Here are some great ways of convincing people your child is not the embodiment of evil.

Having children in late thirties linked to enjoying more of your thirties

WOMEN who delay motherhood until their late thirties face an increased risk of having more years of freedom and fun, according to researchers.