Man on shitty little scooter incredibly sexually attractive, say women

A TEENAGER has become an object of intense sexual desire since he started riding round his area on an ear-splitting scooter.

Are you enough of a twat to go to university these days?

UNIVERSITY is no longer a chilled-out haven of drug experimentation and skiving your way through a philosophy degree. See if you would fit in nowadays.

Thatcher statue to be fired safely into outer space

A STATUE of Margaret Thatcher is to be sent far beyond our solar system to protect it from vandalism. 

Woman 'flaunting' her baby bump by not wearing circus big top

A WOMAN who is wearing clothes that allow people to see she is pregnant is just flaunting herself, it has been claimed.

'We got through the war and we'll get through this' says plumber born in 1977

A MAN born more than three decades after the Second World War is acting like he flew Spitfires against the Luftwaffe.

Stoner stockpiling Kinder Bueno for no-deal Brexit

A STONER has begun stockpiling the Italian confectionery Kinder Bueno in preparation for a no-deal Brexit.

Stakes rising for woman with table seat on train

A WOMAN with an entire table to herself on a train is getting steadily more anxious as passengers file past her.

Lego launches 'Incredibly Depressing No-Deal Brexit Town Centre'

CHILDREN can construct their own boarded-up UK towns using a new range of themed Lego.

The dad's guide to being a cold weather action hero

IF you’re a dad with two kids and a semi there aren’t many chances to pretend you're an action hero - but the cold weather changes all that! Here’s what to do.

Your guide to the blissfully simple world of Brexiters

HAVE you ever wondered how Brexiters manage to have such a simplistic view of everything? Here Leave voter Norman Steele explains how the world works.

Mum's stash of expired medicine to set her up as post-Brexit drug kingpin

A MOTHER'S cupboard of expired medicine will enable her to act as a post-Brexit drug kingpin.

Woman old enough to be 'invisible' to men actually quite pleased about it

A WOMAN IN her late 40s who now rarely gets whistled at on the street by strange men is feeling a pleasant sense of relief, she has confirmed.