Stranger made conversation at urinal

A STRANGER has attempted to strike up a conversation with the man urinating next to him, it has emerged.

Britain is top place to live, claims sarcastic think tank

BRITAIN is one of the best places in the world, according to a sarcastic think tank.

Seven reasons why the 2010s can f*ck right off

THERE are many, many reason why the last decade can go piss up a rope, but here's seven for starters...

Child begins urgent colouring task just before leaving house

A CHILD has begun the urgent creation and colouring-in of a picture just moments before he needs to leave the house.

How to survive a packed Christmas train 

IF you’re going home for Christmas by train, it will be rammed with inconsiderate b*stards. Here’s how to get through the ordeal.

F**king show-off sends Christmas cards

A WOMAN has only gone and posted everyone lovely, thoughtful Christmas cards like a f**king ars*hole.

The Tory voter’s guide to the poor at Christmas

CHRISTMAS is a time to remember the less well-off, and remember it’s their own fault. Here’s how compassionate Conservative voters can help them.

Five popular new hobbies under a Conservative majority

A NEW era of majority Conservative rule has begun, but how will you occupy yourself in the evenings now? Try these:

Young people to have arses kicked all the way to polling stations

SQUADS of arse-kickers are to be deployed to ensure the under-25s bother to vote.

Woman eating whole box of Frosties thinking of buying a house

A WOMAN who just ate a whole box of children's cereal is currently considering buying a house.

F*cking lunatic wants to stay out past midnight

A MAD man has confirmed he plans on staying out past midnight at some point this week.

Even Jesus judgey about advent calendars without chocolate

EVEN Jesus Christ judges people who buy chocolate-free advent calendars, it has been confirmed.