Society

Kid who screamed for two hours because he didn't want the blue cup resents implication he's tired

A BOY who lost his shit because his mum gave him juice in the blue cup and not the green cup claims he is not in the slightest bit tired.

Boyfriend has six pairs of Nike Air Max and two pairs of underpants

A MAN who has six pairs of Nike Air Max trainers has only two pairs of underpants, his girlfriend has confirmed.

Are those teenagers laughing at you?

IF a group of young people start giggling when you walk past, you could be the victim of mockery by little shits. But how can you be sure? Read our guide and find out.

Britain's nastiest towns get festive visit from the Pepsi Max Cherry truck

NASTY towns across Britain are being subjected to a Christmas visit from the Pepsi Max Cherry truck.

Man sickened by the very thought of December

A MAN is filled with dread at the thought of a month filled with tortuous social situations.

Britain expels clever people

A GROWING number of intelligent people have been expelled from the UK for smelling weird and preferring maths to telly.

Everyone wondering when they can go back to not knowing what the 'DUP' is

EVERY single person in Britain is wondering when they can go back to not knowing or caring who or what the DUP is, research has confirmed.

Mum leaves country after children announce they're 'putting on a show'

A MUM whose children were about to perform a 'show' in the living room has run off to Spain for the rest of the week.

Bank statement handled like unexploded bomb

A MAN is approaching his bank statement as if he were attempting to deactivate a bomb.  

Telling that kid to shut the f**k up will pay dividends, everyone secretly thinking

A CHILD in a supermarket would be happier and more successful in later life if they were told to shut the fuck up and behave, shoppers believe.

Man sick to death of people disagreeing with him

A MAN has announced that, from now on, people who disagree with him should have the decency to keep it to themselves.

What's your bullshit middle-class parenting style?

ARE you convinced you’ve got a brilliant parenting style, when really it’s just some bollocks you read in a Sunday supplement? Read our guide and find out.