A BOY who lost his shit because his mum gave him juice in the blue cup and not the green cup claims he is not in the slightest bit tired.
A MAN who has six pairs of Nike Air Max trainers has only two pairs of underpants, his girlfriend has confirmed.
IF a group of young people start giggling when you walk past, you could be the victim of mockery by little shits. But how can you be sure? Read our guide and find out.
NASTY towns across Britain are being subjected to a Christmas visit from the Pepsi Max Cherry truck.
A MAN is filled with dread at the thought of a month filled with tortuous social situations.
A GROWING number of intelligent people have been expelled from the UK for smelling weird and preferring maths to telly.
EVERY single person in Britain is wondering when they can go back to not knowing or caring who or what the DUP is, research has confirmed.
A MUM whose children were about to perform a 'show' in the living room has run off to Spain for the rest of the week.
A MAN is approaching his bank statement as if he were attempting to deactivate a bomb.
A CHILD in a supermarket would be happier and more successful in later life if they were told to shut the fuck up and behave, shoppers believe.
A MAN has announced that, from now on, people who disagree with him should have the decency to keep it to themselves.
ARE you convinced you’ve got a brilliant parenting style, when really it’s just some bollocks you read in a Sunday supplement? Read our guide and find out.