WOULD you like to refuse to accept well-established facts? Find out which form of denialism is best for you.
THE cultural and political highlights of the next ten years have been announced in advance to avoid anyone missing them.
A NORTHERNER who voted Conservative is looking forward to his hometown of Middlesbrough becoming affluent, leafy and packed with intellectuals.
A 30-YEAR-OLD man has gone back to live with his parents, insisting he really enjoys their company.
A STRANGER has attempted to strike up a conversation with the man urinating next to him, it has emerged.
BRITAIN is one of the best places in the world, according to a sarcastic think tank.
THERE are many, many reason why the last decade can go piss up a rope, but here's seven for starters...
A CHILD has begun the urgent creation and colouring-in of a picture just moments before he needs to leave the house.
IF you’re going home for Christmas by train, it will be rammed with inconsiderate b*stards. Here’s how to get through the ordeal.
A WOMAN has only gone and posted everyone lovely, thoughtful Christmas cards like a f**king ars*hole.
CHRISTMAS is a time to remember the less well-off, and remember it’s their own fault. Here’s how compassionate Conservative voters can help them.
A NEW era of majority Conservative rule has begun, but how will you occupy yourself in the evenings now? Try these: