ARE YOU in the vicinity of someone doused in so much scent that they leave a trail of aggressive migraines? Here’s how to break the news.
PARENTS are reassuring their children that Momo is not real while ignoring their children’s actual fears of climate change.
CAN you hear Baby Shark? Is a five-year-old hitting you with a balloon for no reason, while his oblivious father makes bets on his phone?
A WOMAN’S liberal-minded male friends feel a bit uncomfortable about some of her feminist views that might apply to them, it has emerged.
USING your indicators to alert other drivers that you are about to turn off the road is no longer mandatory, the government has announced.
A 13-YEAR-OLD from a posh Home Counties town is demanding full communism for the United Kingdom.
A FATHER trying to explain the ‘facts of life’ to his son is hoplessly confusing him with metaphors about ‘getting one in the back of the net’ and ‘slam dunks’.
ARE you putting enough insufferable posts about your perfect life on Facebook? Eyes down for a game of Facebook smugness bingo!
A MAN has given a glowing account of his school days that is very different to how his friends remember it.
A FATHER has been feeding his child utter bollocks about being able to have any job they want when they grow up.
ARE you worried you’re not being goaded enough by the media over ISIS bride Shamima Begum? Read our checklist and see if you could be angrier.
A SUPPORTER of Brexit has been forced to stockpile a large number of Pot Noodles ‘just in case’, he has admitted.