Brexiters told to try walking away with 'no deal' in everyday life and see how that works for them

BREXITERS keen on leaving the EU with no deal have been told to try walking away without a deal in their personal transactions and then report back. 

Amnesty International secures release of Coco, the Coco Pops monkey

COCO the Coco Pops monkey has been freed, emaciated and blinking at the light, by campaigners from Amnesty International. 

Man who argued with cretins online forgot he didn't have to

A MAN who spent ages arguing with idiots online had forgotten that he does not actually need to do that.  

Commuters get to work quicker than usual by walking along the tracks

RAIL victims have had a more efficient journey to work than normal by just walking along the tracks.

Nice couple sound like murderers when discussing their inheritance

A PLEASANT couple suddenly become very cold and calculating when talking about their elderly parents’ deaths, friends have revealed.

The mum's guide to pretending your child is not a total little bastard

AS the parent of a toddler, do you feel your little angel can do no wrong? Here are some great ways of convincing people your child is not the embodiment of evil.

Having children in late thirties linked to enjoying more of your thirties

WOMEN who delay motherhood until their late thirties face an increased risk of having more years of freedom and fun, according to researchers.

Sadomasochistic train company asks 'how did we do?'

A HELLISH, self-loathing train company has emailed its passengers asking to be told just how shit they are.

Idiot claims he can't spot 'fake news' that's obviously fake

A MAN keeps getting taken in by ‘fake news’ that is obviously dodgy to anyone with a semi-functioning brain.

Neo-Nazi starting to think career opportunities may be a bit limited

A FASCIST is beginning to suspect there are no opportunities for promotion or earning a decent salary in Britain’s neo-Nazi movement.

Man either outraged there aren't dog poppies or outraged no dogs are wearing them

A BRITISH patriot is offended there are not poppies for dogs or offended that no dogs are wearing them, whichever should turn out to be the case.

Learner driver can't wait to ditch this 'ten-to-two' bullshit

A LEARNER driver cannot wait to ditch the bullshit ten-to-two hand position.