ARE you taking your bigotry round to see relatives on Christmas Day? Here’s how to make the table bristle with tension as they wonder what you’ll say next.
TRAVEL restrictions may have been eased, but queues and Brexit mean the average HGV driver will still see Christmas and New Year in on the M20. This will pass the time...
WITH socialising rules relaxed for a day for most of us, you won’t be spared agonising small talk with arseholes at family gatherings.
A MAN will see his mother’s face light up at his present to her at the same time as he finds out what that present is, having delegated all present-buying to his wife.
BRITONS will believe any old shite that fits their prejudices. Watch out for these examples of spurious bollocks.
A WOMAN out Christmas shopping is shocked and angered by the number of other people doing exactly the same.
UNSURE if you’ve just been showered with praise or secretly insulted? If you’ve heard any of these phrases, you’ve just been covertly put down.
HORDES of bewildered boyfriends are milling around Lush desperately seeking Christmas gifts for their partners.
DOES anyone getting into your car first ask questions about whether it has working airbags? Then you’re the kind of driver everyone hates being in a car with. These are the signs.
A FAMILY cat is livid that his name was added to all the Christmas cards sent by his household without his permission.
IT looks like we're just hours away from crashing out of the EU without a deal and finally getting our country back. Here are some of the wonderful benefits we’ve already had from Brexit.
A WOMAN has confirmed she needs a giant SUV to demonstrate that she earns more than the rest of the parents in her son’s class.