AS prices drop to just £2 per line, cocaine has topped a consumer poll as Britain's best-value street drug.
CHURCH of England vicars will bless gay couples as long as they are allowed to quote Bible passages about them being abominations who must be put to death.
MARRYING a woman who shares your hopes and dreams is still nowhere near as good as Predator, according to a new survey.
THE BBC last night defended a new series that hopes to find the best new under 14 pole dancer in Britain.
IMMIGRANT workers have demanded government action after discovering Daily Mail journalists are receiving large salaries for the things they write.
A SCOTTISH t-shirt expressing dislike of the England football team could cause morons to say things, experts have warned.
THE Royal Family are preparing to return to their home planet near Sirius, according to the Queen's astronomer.
JUST four months after thousands of people were wrong about Jan Moir, the social network Twitter was today filled with them being wrong again.