THE exact moment a man goes to the toilet is to be shown on television.
BRITAIN'S primary school curriculum is to be radically reformed after ministers realised they hadn't dicked about with it for at least a year.
BRITAIN is to take the next two years off to go travelling and focus on its hobbies.
BENEFIT cheats are accomplished liars who would relish the challenge of a polygraph test, experts warned last night.
HAVING free sex with your wife is now slightly better value than Pizza Hut, according to a new survey.
BRITAIN was awash with stupid bloody hats yesterday as the temperature dipped below freezing for the first time this winter.
BRITAIN'S lapdancers are to wear William Hague masks in a bid to restrict their sexual potency.
POLICEMEN across England and Wales could not sleep last night after being told they were going to get electric stun guns.
BRITAIN is now the noisy, emotional drunk woman at a party, according to a major new report.
A SECRET list of BNP members has revealed the party includes people from a range of professions, not just the police.
HARD-working families are not the only ones who deserve tax cuts, according to single people who do barely enough to get by.
A WOMAN has divorced her husband after he used the computer game World of Warcraft to conduct affairs with a series of imaginary woodland creatures.