WORKING immigrants have been branded as 'scandalously self-sufficient' after £10bn in benefits went unclaimed last year.
A PSYCHOTIC convict has killed a dozen people on the social networking website Facebook by sending them a message saying 'Rob has just murdered you'.
SENIOR police officers last night said there was no way you were getting a go of their tasers despite new data showing they are even more fun than previously believed.
PRINCE Charles received £3m in talking shit money last year, according to latest accounts.
TEENAGE yobs have developed a deadly 'flick-toddler' in a bid to avoid prosecution, police warned last night.
A GLOBAL nuclear war followed by a new dark age of terror and despair could further depress the UK housing market, according to the Halifax.
THE punctuality of Britain's rail system is directly related to the number of people out of work and not getting the train anymore, it has been confirmed.