Six sentences you never imagined you'd say before you became a parent

EVER found yourself bellowing ‘Who filled this salt-shaker with Lego?’ and realised that being a parent has taken you to sentences you’d never have said otherwise?

Man furious at injustice of spare bedroom being in Tier 3

A MAN believes it is unfair that his spare bedroom is in the same tier as the rest of the house even though no Covid cases have been recorded there.

Squeezing fruit: five unacceptable things to do in a supermarket during a pandemic

WITH Christmas fast approaching, you’ll be spending a frightening amount of time and money in the supermarket. But what should you definitely not do while shopping during a pandemic?

Is everything too London-centric or do you just live in Wigan?

SICK of the government and media being so London-centric? You might have a valid point, or it’s possible you simply live in Wigan.

Everyone back in the shops because we have learned absolutely nothing

TODAY is being dubbed Wild Wednesday because everyone in England is once again thronging the shops proving that we have learned nothing.

Five ways you're becoming your parents

DELUDED yourself that you’re a unique individual nothing like the people who created and raised you? Guess again. This is how you’re slowly turning into them.

Town enjoying absence of Christmas market

A TOWN that usually hosts a Christmas market is enjoying being free of that shit for a year.

'Side hustle' and five other phrases that need to f**k off immediately

AS we approach the end of 2020, here are some of the year’s popular but incredibly annoying phrases that just need to f**k off forever. 

'I'll tell my dad on you', and other playground rules for grown-ups

YOU’RE probably glad the brutal days of the playground are long gone. But could playground rules be handy in adult life? Here are some classic childhood phrases to try.

Families who kiss on the lips definitely weird, say scientists

A STUDY has confirmed that families who consider it acceptable to kiss each other on the lips are completely weird and creepy.

How to be an absolute tool who phones radio stations

EAGER to share your chuckleheaded opinions on air and be publicly humiliated in the process? Radio phone-in regular Roy Hobbs explains how.

What to expect at the £29 million Festival of Brexit

CONCERNED that in a global crisis there are better things to spend £29 million on than a festival celebrating something half the country doesn’t want? Wrong. Here’s what to look forward to.