Society

Woman describes anyone different to her as being 'on the spectrum'

A WOMAN with no understanding of mental disorders has taken to describing anyone different to her as being ‘on the spectrum’.

Friend running late really was 'only 10 mins away'

A WOMAN has confirmed a friend running late really was only the 10 minutes away that she claimed.

Brexit or Remain: how will Operation Yellowhammer affect you?

THE Operation Yellowhammer no-deal contingency plan will affect Britons differently according to their referendum vote. Here’s how.

Woman has kid just to avoid socialising

A WOMAN has confirmed she only gave birth so that she would no longer have to attend social functions.

Idiots organise child's birthday party for the middle of a Saturday

A CHILD’S birthday party has been organised specifically to f**k up the whole weekend.

Hungover man fights back tears after watching literally anything

A HUNGOVER man is struggling to stop himself from crying at the slightest provocation.

Northerner banished to south for saying London was 'okay'

A NORTHERN man has been exiled to the South of England after telling friends London was ‘not that bad’.

Parents full of sh*t, kids discover

CHILDREN have discovered their parents are total bullshitters who lie to them daily.

The gammon's guide to not having a racist bone in your body

BIGOTED bones are terrible. I had a granddad who suffered. But today’s gammons don’t have a racist bone in them, and here’s why:

Schoolboy writes harrowing true-horror essay about what he did on his sh*t British holiday

A SCHOOLBOY has told the unspeakable truth about his sh*tty British summer holiday in a back-to-school essay.

What advice should you take from Get Ready for Brexit's website?

THE government is preparing the UK for Brexit by putting helpful advice written by a 19-year-old Whitehall intern on a website. Try these tips:

Woman who missed one person out of email thread wishing she was never born

A WOMAN who missed one person out of an email thread is now wishing she had never been born.