Society

Five more things that are definitely caused by young people

Young people are shit. In addition to being the sole spreaders of Covid-19, here is a list of their other crimes.

Sick freak keeps car and house keys on same ring

A PERVERTED anarchist monster who recognises no authority has outraged society by keeping their car and house keys on a single keyring.

Dominic Cummings' guide to breaking the new lockdown rules

ALRIGHT plebs, it’s Dominic Cummings here, the guy who single-handedly destroyed the public’s willingness to follow lockdown rules. Here’s my advice on how to get round the new guidelines.

Five total f**king lunatics you'll find in every local Facebook group

WHETHER it’s the woman obsessed with dog crap or the bloke who manages to make comments about the bin collection racist, here are the weirdos who lurk in every group. 

Hologram of Enoch Powell to headline Festival of Brexit

A HOLOGRAPHIC projection of former Conservative MP Enoch Powell will be the headline act at the upcoming Festival of Brexit, the organisers have confirmed.

How to explain to your children that the world has gone to hell

EVERYTHING is bad again and looks unlikely to improve anytime soon. If your inquisitive little darlings are asking if this is the apocalypse, here’s how to explain it.

Absolutely hating the bastard school run already at pre-lockdown levels

THE number of parents loathing the school run with every fibre of their being is already at the level it was in March.

'Silent majority' never seem to shut the f**k up

PEOPLE who consider themselves to be part of the 'silent majority' seem to be forever shouting very loudly about snowflakes, libtards and traitors.

The shit social gatherings you'll go to this weekend

ALTHOUGH things are returning to 'normal', the pandemic is still making life shit. Here are five social gatherings to attend which will prove incredibly disappointing.

Six 1980s school experiences today's kids will miss out on

WITH Covid measures in place and namby-pamby ‘child protection’ laws, today’s kids are missing out on a character-building 1980s education. Here’s what they should be subjected to.

London a really f**king crowded ghost town

THE city of London is a horrendously overcrowded ghost town, residents have confirmed.

The schoolkids' guide to using coronavirus to take the absolute piss

SICK of school already? Fancy a skive? The coronavirus guidelines are your best friend. Here’s how to turn a pandemic to your advantage.