Society

Six words people mispronounce that make you want to punch them

DO you want to throttle that person in your life who insists on pronouncing it ‘vice-a versa’? Here are some more you will also hate.

The gammon's made-up guide to diversity training

THE BBC is currently encouraging all its staff to take part in diversity training. Here gammon Roy Hobbs imagines what this will involve and explains why it is an outrage.

Middle class parent launches pre-emptive complaint about son's GCSEs

A MIDDLE-CLASS mother has launched an appeal against the unfairness of her son’s GCSE grades, which have yet to be decided. 

Wind chimes in the garden and other ways to really f**k off your neighbours

DO you want to passive-aggressively annoy your neighbours without doing something obviously twatty like playing loud music? Here’s how to sneakily piss them off.

Bringing back corporal punishment, and four other political goals for Brexiters

BREXIT has happened and is good and bloody hard, so are hardcore Brexiters happy? Of course not. Leaver Roy Hobbs explains what he’s rabidly obsessing over now.

Britain set for glorious summer of car park arguments

THE UK is looking forward to a marvellous summer of bitter arguments in car parks near tourism hotspots.

Hitler Avenue: the street names the British public really want

LOCAL councils are changing outdated and offensive street names. But what names would the good old British public really like? Here are some suggestions.

Public on tenterhooks about grouse shooting rules

AS the prime minister is set to unveil the roadmap out of lockdown, the British public just wants to know when they can resume shooting game birds with guns.

Half-term 'over'

THE half-term ‘holiday’ has ‘finished’ and children are going ‘back to school’, their dead-eyed parents have confirmed.

The sexist man's guide to not looking sexist

IN this day and age sexism is simply not acceptable. But don’t worry - here male chauvinist pig Wayne Hayes explains how not to look sexist.

£10 for a book of f**king stamps, and other modern rip-offs

YEARNING for the halcyon days when you didn't get ripped off every time you stepped outside your front door? Take a - free - trip down Memory Lane.

Bullshit controversies of the 2020s vs the 1980s - which were best?

HARDLY a week goes by without some confected controversy like ‘cancel culture’. But how do they compare with the public outrages of the 1980s? Let’s find out.