Pub jazz band confirms next gig will last forever

A PUB jazz band has confirmed that its next gig will never end.

These thugs we totally agree with are dreadful, say twats

MEMBERS of the public and media have criticised aggressive right-wing protesters they have been encouraging for several years.

Friend has another f**kwitted YouTube video for you

A MAN believes he is giving friends a vital insight into how the world works by sending them YouTube videos clearly made by fringe crackpots.  

Have you just been mugged or did you just buy a train ticket?

ARE you distraught, shaking and much poorer? You’ve either been mugged or just bought a ridiculously overpriced train ticket. Take our test and find out what happened.

Bastard at front of ticket queue decides to plan his journey now

A MAN at the front of a queue for train tickets decided it was the perfect time to have a long, tetchy discussion with the cashier.

Racist nan mixes it up with rant about 'trannies'

A RACIST grandmother threw a rant about trans rights into her usual Christmas diatribe.

Dad losing battle against opening a present on Christmas Eve

A FATHER determined to hold the line against his children opening a present on Christmas Eve knows he is destined to lose.

Little bugger submits revised list two days before Christmas

A FIVE-year-old has announced that she no longer wants the toys that ‘Santa’ has already bought her.