Prick from school now describing himself as an 'influencer'

THE worst prick from your school is now publicly calling himself an ‘influencer’, it has emerged.

Picnic ruined by being outdoors

A PICNIC has been ruined by taking place outside, sources have confirmed.

Woman does same idiotic smile whatever the situation

A WOMAN does that same fake smile in every photo despite wildly contrasting scenarios, it has emerged.

Couple grows apart after living together for 40 minutes

A COUPLE have grown apart after sharing a home for nearly an hour, it has emerged.

True crime not for weirdos if it's a podcast

BEING obsessed with murderers is fine if you get the podcasts rather than the magazines, it has been confirmed.

Learning to drive 'no excuse for not being good at driving'

LEARNER drivers have no excuse for not being very good at driving, other road users have claimed.

Temperature triggers by-law allowing public to smoke weed outside pubs

THE heatwave sweeping Britain has triggered a little known Victorian-era by-law allowing the legal consumption of cannabis in beer gardens and outside pubs.

The A-Level student's guide to being a wanker all summer

WITH A-levels coming to an end, you’ve suddenly got loads of time on your hands for self-absorbed teenage crap! Here are some ideas for activities.