Society

Mums' WhatsApp group sharing helpful tips on freebasing

A GROUP of mums are supporting each other through lockdown by pooling their knowledge about getting high.

Britain rushes off to rubbish tips to get pissed

THE reopening of Britain’s rubbish tips has seen thousands of people head down there to dispose of a fridge and get wrecked.

Twat with stupid car finding lockdown perfect opportunity to be extra dickish

A MAN with a fast, noisy car is treating the quiet roads of lockdown like his own personal racetrack.  

Kids learning an average of six new swear words a day at home school

CHILDREN are learning at least half a dozen offensive words per day during the lockdown.

Man who wants lockdown to end didn't stay at home in the first place

A MAN making a fuss about wanting the lockdown to end has spent the last six weeks having barbecues with his friends and popping to the shops twice a day.

Homeschooling mum apologises for not learning new language and how to play the glockenspiel

A SINGLE mother in lockdown with three children has said she is sorry that she won't be coming out of this experience with a new skill.  

Five previously bad habits that are now totally acceptable

SELF-DISCIPLINE has gone out of the window during the lockdown, meaning you can get away with indulging bad habits. Try these out for starters.

'I'm saving so much money!' says twat who can't read the room

A TONE-DEAF twat is excitedly sharing how much money he is saving during the lockdown.

Mother has new appreciation of what's important and it's childcare

A MOTHER of two children under five has realised that nothing is more vital to a happy life than someone else looking after the kids.

Cat considering charging you rent

A CAT has confirmed that it is considering charging its owner rent to cover the amount of time he is spending in its house.

A garden, and four other lockdown status symbols

LAST year the garden was nothing more than somewhere to send your mates who still smoke, but in 2020 it’s a key indicator of superiority.

Coronavirus or Brexit: which are we handling worse?

IF f**cking things up were a race, Britain’s approaches to Brexit and coronavirus would be neck and neck. Here’s why: