Pub destroyed after putting on Oxbridge comedy troupe instead of World Cup

A PUB has been reduced to rubble after its landlord decided to host an Oxbridge improv group instead of showing England's World Cup game.

Friend only offering to do favour to complain about it later

A MAN has offered to help his friend move house so he can hold it against him forever, he has confirmed.

Grans demand to know what it says on your t-shirt

BRITAIN'S grandmothers are squinting and demanding to know what the words on your t-shirt mean.

Fathers at sports days watching their dreams die

DADS at school sports days across the UK are watching their dreams of raising a wealthy athlete wither and die.

44-year-old pretty sure he should still be about 32

A MAN is increasingly convinced that more than 10 years of his life have somehow passed too quickly, he has revealed.

Middle class parents hire private tutor so they can show off about it

A MIDDLE class family is excited to enter the social strata of people who pay to have their children’s schoolwork done for them.

Everyone referring to woman with baby as 'Mum'

A WOMAN who has a baby is being called ‘Mum’ by all medical professionals, family members, friends and strangers.

Men wearing kilts 'placing themselves in jeopardy and inviting upskirting'

MEN who insist on dressing provocatively by wearing kilts are basically inviting people to stick cameras up them, it has been claimed.