Society

New Waitrose delivery service will come into your house and sneer at it

A NEW delivery service from Waitrose will bring your groceries into your house and pity you for your shallow, petit bourgeois aspirations.

The British person's guide to making a complaint

DO you sometimes need to make a complaint but hate direct conflict like most British people? Here’s how to do it in a pathetic, passive-aggressive way.

Man confusing being right with being loud

A MAN who thinks he keeps winning arguments actually just shouts over everyone else until they give up.  

Woman who survived summer without must-have clothing also planning to soldier on through winter

A WOMAN who survived summer without ‘must-have’ items of clothing also plans to brave the winter with clothes she already owns.

University fresher wondering how first person he met became his best mate

A UNIVERSITY fresher has no idea how he became best friends with the first student he spoke to.

No, says mum in deep scary voice as someone tries to throw ramekin away

A MIDDLE-AGED mother has responded with terrifying ferocity after someone tried to throw away a ramekin.

BMW driver seen pissing across two urinals

A MAN who owns a BMW somehow managed to take up two urinals, it has emerged.

A guide to pointless regional prejudice

BRITONS believe Londoners are ‘arrogant’ and ‘insular’, according to a recent survey. So if you’re into idiotic regional prejudice, who else can you hate? Here are some suggestions.