PARENTS have offered no sympathy whatsoever to stranded Thomas Cook holidaymakers because they should have gone in August like everyone else.
A MAN'S life expectancy has been dramatically shortened after spending 48 hours with his parents.
VISITORS to a completely spotless house have been asked to ‘forgive the mess’, it has emerged.
IS everyone racist except you? Are you the only white person who truly gets it? Do they need to be told?
IS IT really so impossible for us all to forget our differences over Brexit and just get along?
TODDLERS have confirmed that refusing to do the clever thing they have been doing all week so their parents look like liars is their favourite game.
A WOMAN is addressing a baby with questions that can only be answered by the baby’s mother.
FIRST-YEAR students have been told to settle in, take things easily and to have the best week of their whole lives or there is something wrong with them.
A POSTER for a ‘much-loved’ missing cat has omitted its nine-year reign of terror over the rest of the street.
A 31-YEAR-OLD man is about to try and fail to use his friend’s puzzling shower system, it has been confirmed.
CRUCIAL information about a train’s running status has been delivered over a speaker that nobody can hear or understand.
A MAN has grown a twirly handlebar moustache to rule himself out of the gene pool.