Society

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough, says Angel of the North

THE Angel of the North has challenged statue topplers to plant it right f**king there if they have a f**king problem.

A guide to today's statue topplings

FOLLOWING the relocation of a slave trader’s statue to the bottom of Bristol harbour yesterday, here’s a quick guide to today’s statue topplings.

British policeman outraged at US police for all the cool shit they've got

A BRITISH policeman has admitted he is furious at the sheer amount of cool shit his American counterparts have got.

Bankers who stole everything told now might be good time to give it back

THE bankers who were given a shedload of money in 2008 have been told that now might be a good time to give it back.

Five kids' projects for f**king desperate parents

FOR many parents, your kids going back to school is a distant dream and you’ve used up all your ideas for child-friendly fun. Here are five projects if you’re utterly desperate.

'Will I ever have sex?': The fantasy role-playing nerd's guide to lockdown ending

LOCKDOWN is easing, but what does it mean for the fantasy role-playing game community? Here's what to expect if you're obsessed with D&D or Warhammer.

Sex outside isn't illegal so fill your boots, says Hancock

OUTDOOR romps are not prohibited by the government’s sex ban so go for it, the health secretary has said.

Gobshite mum with no interest in her kids' education furious school closed

A WOMAN with no interest in her children achieving academically is angry that her local secondary school has not reopened.

School weird and frightening and also still shit, reports six-year-old

A SIX-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that the socially distanced school he has returned to is odd and scary while remaining crap and boring.

Man interrupts woman to say he's a feminist

A MAN has interrupted a woman mid-sentence to remind her that he supports equal rights for women.

Mum drops off kids 72 hours early for reopening of school

A DILIGENT mother-of-two has left her children at the school gates a full three days before their new term starts on Monday.

Six things to do with exactly six friends

NOW that we’re allowed to meet in groups of six, you’re probably wondering - what can I do with exactly five other people? Here are some excellent suggestions.