People in massive cities don’t live in real world, says man from tiny village

CITY dwellers are completely cut off from the realities of modern life, according to a man from a tiny rural village.

Roy Hobbs feels he is more aware of the UK’s social problems than urbanites, despite living in a village in Worcestershire where the worst thing that ever happens is a horse getting stuck in some mud.

Hobbs said: “The government spends all its money on cities, so city people all have well-paid jobs as yuppies and travelling on public transport is always an enjoyable experience.

“There aren’t actually any immigrants here, but that will change when overcrowded hellholes like Worcester expand to create a nightmarish urban sprawl of towering three-storey buildings.

“But city people don’t care about our problems because they’re too busy having dinner parties in their futuristic high-rise apartments where they say sarcastic things about plays.

Fellow villager Mary Fisher said: “They don’t realise how bad things really are. Apple scrumping is out of control and last week someone stole a Double Decker from the Post Office.”