People moaning on about Christmas stuff in shops getting earlier every year

THE annual festival of whinging about premature displays of Christmas goods in shops is getting earlier every year, it has been confirmed.

Retailers have reported record numbers of miserable bastards complaining about the appearance of decorations and chocolate bars in plastic stockings, even though it is entirely predictable.

Shop manager Donna Sheridan said: “It’s incredible. Christmas is still over two months away and already the shops are full of people pissing and moaning.

“It’s great there’s such a buzz. You wouldn’t think people would get so excited about Christmas stuff appearing in shops whose sole purpose is to sell things. Especially at Christmas.”

Shopper Mary Fisher said: “When I was a child you never saw anyone getting shitty about crackers and tinsel appearing in Asda until at least the last week in November.

“I’m totally against it because everyone’s already complaining in October so there are no gripes left for the actual festive season. They’re ruining the whole spirit of Christmas moaning.”

Retail experts now believe the combination of profit-hungry shops and whinging bastards means shoppers could soon be moaning their bollocks off as early as June.