Southerner thinks impression of Northern co-worker’s accent remotely accurate

A SOUTHERNER actually thinks his attempt at a Northern accent in some way resembles what a Northerner talks like.

Office worker Martin Bishop believes he has got Tom Booker’s accent “spot-on”, mostly by saying “thar”, “eeh bah goom” and prefixing every word with “t’”.

Bishop, who perfected the accent by watching Last of the Summer Wine, said: “Tom does talk like he’s got a lump of coal in his mouth. They all do. It’s probably coming from a family of miners that does it.

“It’d be weird of me not to start singing On Ilkley Moor Baht ‘At every time he comes into the office. He’s Northern, you see. It needs constantly pointing out.

“I’m surprised he doesn’t laugh a lot more when I say things like ‘Eh oop, there’s many a mickle as makes a muckle’ and ‘There’s nowt like t’brass band music’.

“Instead, he just stares at me. I think when he hears my uncannily accurate Northern accent it takes him back to his Yorkshire childhood, doing the bread rounds in the cobbled streets with his whippet.”

Booker, who has a degree from Cambridge and no connection to the mining industry, said: “Actually I’m thinking of buying a loaf of Hovis and ramming it up his *rse.”