Women Sad About Something, Say Men
WOMEN across Britain seem to be terribly sad about something, men said today.
In homes and offices throughout the country men have noticed women consoling each other and comparing observations about what seems to be a very sad event.
Bill McKay, a man from Peterborough, said: "I'm not exactly sure what it is they're sad about. Has it got something to do with the cricket?
"Come to think of it I haven't noticed all the women being this sad together since, oh, it must be September 1997. They were sad for quite a long time back then. God only knows what that was all about, though it must have been very sad because I remember tripping over flowers everywhere I went for at least a fortnight.
"I suppose I should ask why they're sad but that might involve being sucked into a conversation about the sad thing, and while I don't yet know what that is, I am pretty sure I don't care."
Tom Logan, from Chester, said: "Will being sad about the sad thing get me more sex, or will it make people think I'm gay? It's a very difficult time."
Professsor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, stressed that not all the women were sad, especially the ones with attention spans longer than a photo caption.
He added: "There are some women who will not need counselling at a time like this. But only some."
Meanwhile Emma Bradford, a woman from Guildford, said: "It's all so sad. So very, very sad. What else is on?"