PAUL Dacre and Alan Rusbridger are to have a fight in the street at 6pm this evening.
NORTHERN Ireland's protestants are yet again commemorating a 17th Century battle by poncing around in their bowler hats.
SOLDIERS who failed to meet Afghan death targets are to be sacked.
JIHADISTS said the idea of a woman being in charge of young males in uniform was driving them crazy.
HORSES are now at war with humans.
A MASSIVE helicopter armed with machine guns, missiles and rocket launchers has been used to kill people, it has emerged.
THE Nobel Peace Prize has caused stroke-inducing rage from people who are an absolute joy to watch when they are angry.
"They are driving around Hill Valley like a bunch of maniacs."
BRITISH troops have assured the Taleban that the intention to kill them has been perfectly clear for a while.