EGGS are terrifying for the first time in more than 20 years, it has been confirmed.
THE war in Afghanistan was started so the Ministry of Defence could avoid a Â£13bn underspend, according to a leaked email.
THE release of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange yesterday caused a senior American to shout 'godammit' and bang his fist on a walnut conference table.
THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.
POLICE today said they expected Wikileaks founder Julian Assange to
attempt an escape, probably at the top of a long flight of stairs.
THESE airport x-ray images that were supposed to show full-frontal nudity are very disappointing, creepy masturbators said last night.
A FAILURE to recruit female operatives has led to MI5's offices becoming a complete tip, it emerged last night.
DEFENCE secretary Liam Fox has warned that cuts to Britain's defence budget will leave the country open to attack from massive foreign wasps that do not share our values.