War
Britain grants asylum to hilariously-named terrorist
BRITAIN last night offered safe haven to Colonel Gaddafi's charmingly-named terrorist sidekick.
I kind of assumed you're trying to kill me, says Gaddafi
COLONEL Gaddafi last night decided to just go ahead and assume that we are actively trying to kill him.
Planes kill baddies
LOTS of people died in Libya last night, but it's okay because they were baddies.
UN backs Radio 1 regime change
THE United Nations security council has paved the way for air strikes against Chris Moyles.
What gives? asks Tony the Prick
GOOMBA sleazeball Tony 'the Prick' Blair was being questioned today about his role in the Iraq war scamola.
Eggs regain terror status
EGGS are terrifying for the first time in more than 20 years, it has been confirmed.
Afghan war caused by MoD budget shenanigans, reveals email
THE war in Afghanistan was started so the Ministry of Defence could avoid a £13bn underspend, according to a leaked email.
Assange release causes sinister American to bang fist on table
THE release of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange yesterday caused a senior American to shout 'godammit' and bang his fist on a walnut conference table.
Wikileaks row stops someone from buying a Chris de Burgh album
THE point of Wikileaks became clear last night after viral attacks on credit card websites stopped someone from buying Chris de Burgh's The Storyman.
Assange to escape from police at the top of some stairs
POLICE today said they expected Wikileaks founder Julian Assange to
attempt an escape, probably at the top of a long flight of stairs.
Just because we're crushing Wikileaks, it doesn't mean you're next, say governments
GOVERNMENTS around the world today stressed that just because they are trying to crush Wikileaks to death, it does not necessarily mean that you will be next.
Airport Scanner Pics Disappoint Masturbators
THESE airport x-ray images that were supposed to show full-frontal nudity are very disappointing, creepy masturbators said last night.