One Woman's Week: If You're Thinkin' About My Baby...

By Karen Fenessey

YET another day passes where I must bite the tears and press on in this terrible world where there is no Michael. His message to the world 'It don't matter if you're black or white' has never been so relevant – especially as I recently learned from the BBC series The Incredible Human Journey: Out of Africa that in fact all humans are black, regardless of the colour of their skin.

My Big Gap Year: Pope And Glory

With Poppy Spalding

This week finds me in the former lava-loving, viaduct-building world dominator: Roma, Italia! It's always been my dream to come to Rome so I can see if all the roads really do lead here. I now fully understand how they do as there are just so many roads, and they literally lead in hundreds of directions.

One Woman's Week: Getting My Scapegoat

By Karen Fenessey

WHEN I was a younger woman, I flirted with the idea of getting into politics because of my diplomatic skills, impeccably high moral standards and vocabulary consisting of roughly a million words. This is why I cannot fathom how recent events have come to decimate our once so fabulous government.

Dream Doctor Toby: The Mystery Of The Dolphins...

Dear Doctor Toby,
I am in the ocean, it is sunny and warm and peaceful. I feel safe and relaxed for the first time in ages. Then a dolphin comes to see me. He is happy, and this makes me happy. And then his dolphin friends come and see me too and they form a circle around me, just below the water...

My Big Gap Year: Walk Like A Reincarnated Egyptian

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

I've always believed I am the reincarnation of the lush, gold-plated boy king, Tutankhamun. That is why it was imperative that I returned to my old stomping ground of ancient Egypt to check out my pyramids and cop some rays.

One Woman's Week: I-D-I!

By Karen Fenessey

WHAT would you do if your parents knew exactly what your willy or vagina looked like?

My Big Gap Year: Arabian Tights

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

Tuesday: Dubai

DUBAI, Dubai - so good they named it twice. I've never seen so much money crammed into one space - even the eye spaces in the ladies' veils are filled in with diamonds. It's the sort of place where everyone's dreams really can come true - as long as your dream isn't to have a noisy shag on a beach.

Dream Doctor Toby: He Interprets Your Dreams

Case no. 2: Charles and the Juggernaut

Dear Dr Toby

I am driving down a dark, dimly-lit city street.  I get the feeling I am going the wrong way, but the road is too narrow and the walls too high to turn myself around. Eventually I see an opening in the wall up ahead. I manoeuvre myself in to it and turn the car around, facing the direction I feel I want to be heading in...

One Woman's Week: She's Not Keeping Someone Else's Baby

By Karen Fenessey

I THINK that in this day and age, when a woman as exemplary as Madonna wants to adopt an impoverished child, we should just be damned grateful.

Dream Doctor Toby: He Interprets Your Dreams

Case No. 1: 'Tom and the rope bridge'

Dear Dr Toby,
I had a dream that I was crossing a rope bridge up high in the clouds and then I met an old school friend halfway...

My Big Gap Year: Slum Girls Have All The Luck

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

THURSDAY, MUMBAI: This week finds me 'slumming' it in Mumbai, India. After watching the totally amazing foreign film Slumdog Millionaire last week, I simply had to get over here and join in all the slum-based fun.

One Woman's Week: Reinventing The Train

By Karen Fenessey

I THINK this recession thing is really going to people's heads. I've been keenly following Paxman's wonderful series on the Victorians, and I can reliably inform you that they didn't have nervous breakdowns just because it was taking longer than expected to sell their flats.