Columnists

One Woman's Week: You Won't Beat Me, Adolf Bannatyne

By Karen Fenessey YOU might think when you watch Duncan Bannatyne on the BBC's Dragon’s Den program, that he is a really great guy who knows a thing or two about how to keep fit. But let me tell you: all is not as it seems in this so-called den and Mr Bannatyne is actually a tyrant who exploits the souls of innocents.

Guest Blog: Cherie Blair

'IF I catch you stuffing food into that pouchy slab of a face once more, I'm going to twat you one' would've been the first words I'd have uttered to John Prescott if I was the counsellor treating him for bulimia - but there again I know how to speak to him, I know it's the only way he’ll listen: you want to know why I know this? It's because as a high-flying QC, best-selling writer and last-but-not least, mother of four children – I've learnt to trust my instincts.

'I Was There'

Christopher Walken remembers the 1982 World Snooker Championships

DIDDLY-dee! diddily-dee! That’s the sound the wheels on a train make – diddly-dee! diddly-dee! I hate that noise, I hate it almost as much as I do Adam Sandler movies, so I pulled the emergency chord above my head, bringing the 12.57 from King’s Cross to Sheffield, shuddering to a halt.

One Woman's Week: Fighting The Fat

By Karen Fenessey

I really believe it’s a wonderful thing that I can look around our British streets and see so many different walks of life being not only tolerated, but encouraged. The whites walk alongside the blacks, the rich with the poor, and the gays with the normal.

One Woman's Week: Three Cheers For China

By Karen Fenessey 

To be honest, I couldn’t really care less about what the shaven monks of Tibet are banging on about. They claim they’ve been oppressed in the past, but, even if this were true, it is still shocking sportsmanship to let that get in the way of such an esteemed event as the Olympics. 

'I Was There'

Great moments in sport: Yoko Ono remembers Wrestlemania XXIII

MANY years ago, myself and John were staging our third annual bounce-in. To the uninitiated, a bounce-in is where two icons such as ourselves would jump up and down on a trampoline as a means of protest against the American government’s treatment of Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs.

One Woman's Week: Giving My All

By Karen Fenessey 

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I am one of the most charitable people anyone could hope to meet. In fact, I would go as far as to say I am a disabled person’s wet dream.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

By HRH the Duke of Edinburgh

IT was with a small measure of relief and not a little satisfaction that I heard the coroner declare The Arab's allegations to be entirely without substance. In the end it has all come together so beautifully, has it not?

One Woman's Week: Stars In Our Eyes

By Karen Fenessey 

I BELIEVE that all humans are equal under the eyes of God, but there is one group of humans who are somehow more special: I’m talking, of course, about celebrities.

Guest Blog: Basil Brush

I say, do you know, I went into the local sweet shop to buy myself a quarter of everlasting gobstoppers the other day, only to discover it had been taken over by a bunch of foreigners!

'I Was There'

Great Moments in Sport no. 87: Ray Winstone Remembers The 2002 Badminton Horse Trials

There ain't many things that wind me up in this world, besides geezers what stand in the middle of the street holding them giant Golf Sale signs, microwave ovens and Philip Schofield. But what really gives me the right, royal 'ump is 'orses: I 'ate 'em all, every last one of the dirty, 'orrible, long-faced bastards.

Sniff This

By Phillipe, Best in Show, Crufts 2008

IT could be my superb posture, my beautiful coat or perhaps even my exquisite bone structure. But whatever it is, one thing's for sure: I am The Balls.