Desert Island Discs: The Duke of Edinburgh

My book would be No One Here Gets Out Alive, the biography of Jim Morrison.

One woman's week, with Karen Fenessey

Despite what the sluts say, most men are not that stupid.

Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor

Your close circle of friends reflects on you as a person so it's needs to look and smell excellent.

Dr Julian Cook's science laboratory

You see, you can think of the smallpox virus like John Travolta.

Desert Island Discs, with Dominique Strauss-Kahn

Some say that playfully rubbing yourself up against your assistant Claudette whilst playing Sex Bomb full blast is filthy, filthy, dirty and wrong.

Power Thinking, with Dr Morris O'Connor

Most people fear the occult and rightly so, animal sacrifices can ruin a lunch party if all the guests aren't forewarned a chicken is going to get it in between courses.

Karen Fenessey's Anglesey Odyssey

Outside, my tears mingled with the rain, which dribbled from the clouds like urine from an indifferent deity's underpants into a big, Welsh toilet.

Desert Island Discs, with [REDACTED]

MUSIC has always been my first love. Well, that's if you don't count [REDACTED] who I had a brief but dirty fling with, back in 1979.