Opinion

One Woman's Week: Viva El Cleggo!
By Karen Fenessey
Normally, I wouldn't dream of telling anyone how I voted, but... it was Lib Dem! (Didn’t everyone?)...

My Big Gap Year: Shaved New World
Dispatches from Poppy Spalding
Monday: The Amazon
Last night I was on Amazon downloading DJ Rico’s hot new MP3 Zombie in a Coma’ but today I'm in the actual Amazon!

Guest Blog: Danny Dyer
SO there I was, walkin' the mean streets of West Hampstead with only a
six-man camera crew and seven security advisors for company. By the
looks I was gettin' from some of the naughty local faces – Lucy, the
Channel 4 documentary maker, Victor, the Classics teacher and Cameron,
the web designer - I was beginnin' to feel like a Nick Love at the
Cannes Film Festival.

One Woman's Week: Paedophile Priests Are People Too
Karen Fenessey
It seems the media just can't help themselves when it comes to the Catholic Church. They'll pounce on the slightest slip-up and blow it out of all proportion. If we're not careful, this once magnificent institution, which has done so much for the people of Africa, will become nothing more than a pitiful community group like Alcoholics Anonymous or the Brownies.

My Big Gap Year: Hips Don't Lie, Usually
Dispatches from Poppy Spalding
Tuesday: Bogota
AFTER being a total communist and gorging myself on kolbasa for almost two weeks, I decided to embark on the famous 'Trotsky trail' and jump on the next Aeroflot to South America. I'm sure if he'd been around today, he would never have gone to stinky Mexico and had communism with moustachioed artists. Like me, he would have come straight to Columbia to undulate frantically like the artist who gets her Ladyshave out once in a while: Shakira!

One Woman's Week: Too Many Pricks
Karen Fenessey
ANOTHER Mother’s Day passes and once again we all take a moment to remember that special woman who sums up the entire event: Jade Goody. But can I be the only one who absolutely insists we look more closely at the legacy she has bequeathed us?

My Big Gap Year: Dr Skivago
Despatches from Poppy Spalding
IT'S surely not just the president of Russia and me who found ourselves wondering during the women's parallel giant slalom 'is that as easy as it looks?'

One Woman's Week: It Could Be Me
By Karen Fenessey
NO doubt when Britain's latest Euromillionaires have completed their cider-fuelled celebrations they will say a prayer to Jesus, Vishnu or whatever pagan wicker god they worship in Gloucestershire. But little do they know that the force of nature they should be thanking is me.

Guest Blog: Fearne Cotton
OH-my-God, I'm like, sooooooo busy at the moment - I haven't had any time to be down in the dumps, unlike the crowd of people I saw today standing at a bus stop in the rain. I told my driver to slow down and as he did, I poked my head out of the window and hollered, "Cheer up guys - it might never happen!" It doesn't matter how mega-stressed you're feeling, you've still got to find time for your fans...

My Big Gap Year: The Athens Of The South
Despatches from Poppy Spalding
Friday: Greece
This week I'm in Athens, the ancient city responsible for PE, maths and classics and, without which, there would have been no need for me to attend fifth form on a Tuesday.

Guest Blog: Jonathan Ross
'TELL me, how many times did you knock one out over Princess Margaret?' is the question I'd have put to Prince Philip if he'd ever been allowed to come on my show...

One Woman's Week: Big Chef, Little Chef
By Karen Fenessey
It's common courtesy to give a gift receipt with Christmas presents. Not only does this allow you to ascertain if the person bought the item at a marked down price, it also allows you to return it should it be unsuitable. Donny's creepy Jewish sister made no attempt to atone for what she did to Christ and gave me a pair of socks from Marks and Spencer's...