PERSONALITIES are complex, or at least other people’s are. Have you defined yours via fantasy stories for children?
THE parents of a 26-year-old woman are excited to finally meet their daughter's casual sex partner.
A MAN reading about a celebrity on Wikipedia has skipped over 'Early life' and 'Career' and gone directly to ‘Controversies’.
A MIDDLE class family has decided to treat itself by going on a day trip to an estate agent’s window.
A WOMAN has inserted her finger in her boyfriend's ear in a bid to be kinky.
A BABY'S habit of crying and defecating constantly are part of his 'quirky personality', it has been confirmed.
A MIDDLE class mum and dad are nauseatingly proud of the fact that their two-year-old likes the taste of olives.
A WOMAN has confirmed that her natural state of being is eating avocado toast and drinking wine before noon.
A MAN has allowed his use of a dating app to convince himself that he has any standards whatsoever.
DO you feel you’re being unfairly attacked for being a baby boomer, despite believing anyone with a grievance is a ‘snowflake’? Here’s what to do.
A MAN is under the impression it is cool to pretend his girlfriend is the boss of him.
JEREMY Corbyn is promising the nation free broadband because he still believes the internet is an educational tool, it has emerged.
APPARENTLY some moaning minnies are unhappy with my handling of the floods, but I say they just need to show a bit of pluck and spunk! Here is my advice.
THE new John Lewis advert stars Excitable Edgar, a dragon who burns off his own penis and has to wait until Christmas for a new one.
NEED to convince people to vote for your terrible Brexit deal? Get them on board with a deeply patronising slogan. Here’s how.
ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.
WOULD you like to be one of those annoying friends who gives terrible advice about situations you don’t understand? Follow this guide.
INTERNET start-up director Tom Logan, aged 27, earns £140,000 a year and wants to know how angry that makes you.
RUSSIA has been hacking the Crufts computers to make all the weird-looking dogs win, it has emerged.
A CHRISTMAS tree fairy would rather not have a needle-covered branch right up her skirt, it has emerged.