THE Labour Party has announced it is to be formally wound up after losing the Hartlepool by-election.
THINK you’re a sophisticated adult? Then how come you still haven’t left behind these things that are clearly meant for young people, you massive overgrown child?
RED Wall Tories have made their voices heard in Labour's former heartlands. Take our quiz and find out if you're one of these confusing voters.
YESTERDAY the plucky little island of Jersey saw off a vast French invasion force. Read our Commando comics-style account of this epic battle written especially for Brexiters.
THERE are some topics this broadsheet seems to have a psychotic obsession with. Here are some we’ve honestly heard enough about...
THE DUP are looking for a new leader with the right blend of political acumen and batshit personal beliefs. Could you do the job? Read their recruitment ad:
BREXIT is going so amazingly well that within a mere five months we are now at war with France.
OFF to the polling station today with a strong suspicion it won’t improve things in the slightest? Here’s why you are probably right to be cynical.
THE sad passing of Nick Kamen has caused much nostalgia for his famous jeans advert. Here are the ads of the era that everyone got ridiculously obsessed with.
WERE you ever close to being a trendy and popular person or have you always been an awkward loser? Deep down you already know the answer, but double-check with our quiz.
SCOTLAND is what they call the bit of land at the top of England, for some reason. It’s even allowed its own funny little political system. Here’s my guide to it.
THEY might not have arms but birds can still hand your ass to you. Naturalist Chris Packham reveals which of our feathered friends would f**k you up one-on-one.
IS a meal out with your elderly parents now just a few weeks away? Here’s how they’ll take all the fun out of it.
DAYTIME gameshows can be tricky if you can’t tell the difference between a county and a continent. Tune in to these to be baffled.
YOU had big dreams back at primary school. Vet, Chelsea striker, palaeontologist: which would you be? Let’s see how that worked out.
HARTLEYPOOL is a smashing little seaside resort, a true jewel of the north-west. Here’s an unprompted article detailing what I love so ruddy much about it.
TOMORROW, Labour will lose a parliamentary seat they have held for 60 years. And, why f**k about, I will accept that it is all my fault.
UK residents outside London have agreed that Laurence Fox is exactly the kind of prick that Londoners deserve to have as mayor.
YOU have accommodated for my every possible need, yet still I whine. Why? The answer is not so simple, human one.
HAVE you attempted to support the British film industry and regretted it? Here are some films you’re still pissed off about.