Politics

I will only give up when every person in Britain has personally told me to f**k off, says Boris

BORIS Johnson has confirmed he will only end his leadership ambitions when every single one of the UK’s 65 million citizens has personally told him to fuck off. 

Boris sleeping in the House of Commons

POLITICIANS have realised Boris Johnson is sleeping in the House of Commons after being kicked out by his wife.

Your no-deal Brexit emergency survival guide

THE government has set up ‘Operation Yellowhammer’ to make emergency plans for a chaotic no-deal Brexit. So what should you do if everything goes to shit?

Boris Johnson offered prime minister's job just to see him shit himself

THERESA May has offered Boris Johnson her job as prime minister while all the other Tories hid and laughed as he absolutely crapped himself.

Corbyn under pressure to remove head from arse

JEREMY Corbyn is under increasing pressure to remove his head from his rectum and do something about Brexit.

No-deal Brexit to be total pain in the arse which is absolutely great, Britain confusingly told

THE Government has detailed all the crippling inconveniences of a no-deal Brexit while adding how much we will love them.

Nan explains latest confusing reasons for voting Tory

A NAN who lives in a local authority affected by Tory cuts has given an utterly incomprehensible account of why she always votes for them.

Government commits £49 to tent for the homeless

THE government has unveiled plans to eradicate homelessness by buying a tent from Millets.