Jeremy Corbyn's guide to acting decisively

HELLO, comrades. As a top politician I know only too well the importance of acting swiftly and decisively. Here’s how to take the bull by the horns in a variety of real-life situations.

University fresher still believes in Corbyn's Brexit 'long game'

A UNIVERSITY fresher is ready for Jeremy Corbyn to unleash his secret Brexit masterplan, it has emerged.

Dominic Raab stockpiling food for himself

THE Brexit secretary has confirmed that he is stockpiling food and nobody else is having any of it. 

Second referendum to include 'Are you an idiot?'

ANOTHER vote on leaving the EU should include questions designed to weed out total idiots, it has been claimed.

He doesn't even remember who I am, says sobbing Farage

NIGEL Farage has been sitting on the edge of his bed in the dark crying and holding a signed photo of President Trump, according to friends.

Danny Dyer appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug

DANNY Dyer has been appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug, it has been confirmed.

Johnson and Davis to spend next three months backpacking around South East Asia

BORIS Johnson and David Davis have confirmed that they quit the cabinet to go backpacking around South East Asia together.

Leaving a sinking ship can be the right thing to do, by a rat

IT'S great to see so many of our leading Brexiteers prepared to learn from the vermin community.