Politics

I can also do fascism, confirms Boris

BORIS Johnson has confirmed that if the British people want a fascist in charge he is happy to oblige.

May told pact with Corbyn could destroy Tories so could she please get on with it

THERESA May has been told that a Brexit deal with Jeremy Corbyn could tear the Conservatives apart and that would be cool.

Brexit now bigger mess than Stone Roses second album

BRITONS fear Brexit and its eventual delivery will be a disjointed mess that will make the Stone Roses’ Second Coming seem good.

Useless MPs fail to do in two days what government hasn't managed in three years

INEFFECTUAL MPs have been condemned for their failure to come up with a Brexit solution in two days by a government that has not done so in three years.

Greatest obstacle to believing in Britain 'twats like Boris'

THE UK public has admitted they could 'believe in Britain' if twats like Boris Johnson did not stand a chance of leading it. 

Brexit march somehow back in Sunderland again

THE ‘March to Leave’ has somehow found itself back in Sunderland again, feeling even more confused than usual and with no one really leading.

Two years ago today I did something f**king stupid

TWO years ago I did something extremely stupid, and on the second anniversary of that idiotic mistake I would like everyone to pretend I did not.

Blue Peter asks kids to send in their Brexit plans

TV show Blue Peter has asked children to make a basic Brexit plan and send them in, with the best ones going to Parliament to be voted on.

Your guide to surviving Boris or Gove

AFTER Theresa May’s resignation the next prime minister could be Boris Johnson or Michael Gove, resulting in years of dreadful bullshit. Here’s how to get through it.

How to climb down gracefully from being a rabid Brexiter

HAVE you spent three years accusing anyone who’s ever been to France of being a traitor, but now realise you’ll be destitute by summer if we leave?

Jacob Rees-Mogg accepts the Colonies are lost

JACOB Rees-Mogg has shocked critics by reversing his long-held position that the Thirteen Colonies of the US must be retaken by Britain.

Everyone in Britain promises anything at all if May resigns

EVERY last living person in Britain has promised to do everything Theresa May asks of them the moment that she resigns.