Politics

Corbyn secretly in love with Rory Stewart

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted to a huge 'man-crush' on Conservative leadership candidate Rory Stewart. 

It's our turn to elect a pr*ck, Britain agrees

BRITAIN has reluctantly agreed that it is our turn to elect a hilariously vain d*ckhead.

Man who can't stop talking boll*cks clearly ideal for Brexit negotiations

BORIS Johnson’s incessant flow of bullsh*t is perfect for Brexit negotiations, it has been claimed.

A few of the more useless f*ckers to go today, Tories promise

THE Conservative leadership race will today shed a few of its more useless, hapless and hopeless f*ckers, the Tories have promised.

Michael Gove's guide to cocaine parties

HAVE you been invited to a cocaine party but are worried you won’t know what to do? Here Michael Gove explains all you need to know.

No-deal Brexit is the policy of a f*cking idiot and I am that idiot, says Boris

BORIS Johnson has launched his leadership campaign by confirming that only a f*cking halfwit would support no-deal Brexit and he is that man.

Ten Tory candidates sent to country house to start murdering each other

THE ten candidates to become prime minister have been sent to a country house to be picked off one by one by whichever of them is secretly the killer.

Tax cuts but - get this - for the rich, says Boris

BORIS Johnson has blindsided rivals for the Tory leadership by proposing tax cuts but – let this sink in – for the already wealthy. 

Gove somehow maintaining unnaturally high level of confidence

MICHAEL Gove remains manically convinced nothing can stop him becoming Tory leader though nobody knows where he is getting his confidence from. 

'Nobody’s in charge, do what you f**king like'

Yesterday, I handed in my notice as Conservative leader. Now, nobody is in charge and you can do whatever you fucking want.

Farage maintains his proud record of never winning an election

NIGEL Farage has once again maintained his 25-year record of never winning a seat in the House of Commons in any by-election or general election.

BBC accidentally interviews Remain-voting member of public

THE BBC has apologised after accidentally showing an interview with a random member of the public who does not support Brexit.