Backbench Tories in plot to find vaguely competent bastard

CONSERVATIVE MPs are plotting to replace Theresa May with someone who is just as cynical and nasty but not really bad at everything.  

May still prime minister for some f**king reason

THERESA May is still the prime minister of the United Kingdom and no-one has the faintest idea why, it has been confirmed.

They might have upset me, says May

THERESA May has explained that she could not speak to residents of Grenfell Tower because she is feeling insecure and vulnerable right now.

Nation breathes sigh of relief as it is spared religious dictatorship under Tim Farron

BRITAIN has narrowly escaped becoming a Christian dictatorship under the iron hand of Tim Farron. 

Britons demand right to keep f**king up and not get sacked

WORKERS should have the same rights as politicians to completely bollocks things up and not lose their jobs, it has been claimed.

Theresa May: I say 'getting on with the job' and 'nobody wants another election' now

AS YOUR prime minister it is my duty to inform you that, following last week's election, I will be saying two new things.

DUP vows to end May's wild party lifestyle

THE Democratic Unionists plan to end Theresa May's hedonistic party lifestyle and turn her into a decent God-fearing Christian, they have announced.

Weasel really relates to Michael Gove

A WEASEL feels he can really identify with Michael Gove.