Politics

Another six times and it'll pass unanimously, calculates May

THERESA May has calculated that if her deal keeps gaining support at the current rate it only needs another six votes to pass unanimously.

I'm your prime minister now

Hello there, I am Arlene Foster, leader of the DUP and your new prime minister, and I have a few changes in mind. 

EU covers its eyes while UK shits its pants

THE European Union has agreed not to look while the UK spends the next week soiling itself.

Tory party 'could be down to 16 people without the racists'

ANY attempt to clamp down on prejudiced attitudes in the Conservative Party could mean the entire membership will fit in a minibus, senior Tories have warned.

The secret normal life of Jacob Rees-Mogg

SALVE! That’s latin for ‘hello’, but of course my ridiculous 18th century toff persona is just for gullible Brexiters. Here’s what life in the Rees-Mogg household is really like.

Police to get less than a third of one of Grayling's fuck-ups

POLICE facing a nationwide knife crime epidemic are to get much less than the cost of fixing one of Chris Grayling’s regular fuck-ups.

Everyone who voted Leave to get £1,000 worth of chips

EVERY single one of the UK’s 17.4 million Leave voters is to get a tax-free lump sum of £1,000 to spend on chips.

Are you an old-school hard-left tosser?

ARE you the sort of left-winger who’s stuck in a 1970s timewarp of revolutionary rhetoric and an obsession with Israel? Take our quiz and find out.