Politics

Greatest obstacle to believing in Britain 'twats like Boris'

THE UK public has admitted they could 'believe in Britain' if twats like Boris Johnson did not stand a chance of leading it. 

Brexiter looks out at Britain still slaving under the yoke of unspeakable tyranny

A BREXITER who hoped this morning would be his first in a free Britain has instead woken up to another day as a serf in a vassal state.

Brexit march somehow back in Sunderland again

THE ‘March to Leave’ has somehow found itself back in Sunderland again, feeling even more confused than usual and with no one really leading.

Two years ago today I did something f**king stupid

TWO years ago I did something extremely stupid, and on the second anniversary of that idiotic mistake I would like everyone to pretend I did not.

Blue Peter asks kids to send in their Brexit plans

TV show Blue Peter has asked children to make a basic Brexit plan and send them in, with the best ones going to Parliament to be voted on.

Your guide to surviving Boris or Gove

AFTER Theresa May’s resignation the next prime minister could be Boris Johnson or Michael Gove, resulting in years of dreadful bullshit. Here’s how to get through it.

How to climb down gracefully from being a rabid Brexiter

HAVE you spent three years accusing anyone who’s ever been to France of being a traitor, but now realise you’ll be destitute by summer if we leave?

Jacob Rees-Mogg accepts the Colonies are lost

JACOB Rees-Mogg has shocked critics by reversing his long-held position that the Thirteen Colonies of the US must be retaken by Britain.

Everyone in Britain promises anything at all if May resigns

EVERY last living person in Britain has promised to do everything Theresa May asks of them the moment that she resigns.

Elderly rich white men almost ready to sort this shit out

A GANG of elderly rich white men are just about ready to step in and sort out this mess that was definitely not the fault of any elderly rich white men.

I've got a Brexit idea I think you'll love, May tells Parliament

THE prime minister has contacted Parliament with an innovative and fresh idea of how to take Brexit forward that she would just love them to consider.

F**king hell we could have just brought back hanging, say Tories

SENIOR Conservatives have regretfully realised a referendum on capital punishment would probably have served the same purpose as Brexit.