Man can’t remember which one is Stormy Daniels and which is Cambridge Analytica

A MAN is pretty confident that pornstar Cambridge Analytica has been paid off by Trump and Stormy Daniels has shut down, or possibly vice versa.  

Where's that twat Cameron these days? asks entire UK

THE deepening Brexit crisis has made Britons wonder what has become of the pink-faced Etonian who caused it in the first place.  

Your guide to voting in the local elections

IF you’re diligently trogging round to your old primary school to vote in the local elections, what should you do? Read our guide.

Brexiter discovers 'House of Lords'

THERE is apparently a ‘House of Lords’ which should be abolished immediately, a Brexiter has discovered. 

I can't believe that f**king worked, says May

THERESA May is stunned that Amber Rudd's resignation caused everyone to forget the Windrush deportations were entirely her idea, she had admitted.

Are you a liar or just incompetent? Take our test to find out

IN OUR busy modern world, it can be hard to tell if you're a liar or just flat-out incompetent. Answer these simple questions to find out.

Roy Chubby Brown confirmed as new home secretary

COMEDIAN Roy Chubby Brown is the new home secretary, Theresa May has confirmed.

Queen urged to f**k up his hair at the very least

THE Queen has been told that if she is to meet Donald Trump, the very least she can do is mess up his hair.