Lib Dems to become knitting club for a few years

THE Lib Dems have decided to take a break from politics and try something different, starting with becoming a knitting club.

Brexit Party now just a weird retired couple and a golliwog

THE Brexit Party’s dismal election results have reduced it to a retired couple from Cornwall and their golliwog, ‘Mr Golly’.

How to survive five more years of Michael f**king Gove

THE Tory victory means we’ll be seeing more of Britain’s most irritating twat, Michael Gove. Here’s how to get through the difficult years ahead.

Corbyn to reflect on what 'p*ss off you beardy Red twat' could possibly mean

JEREMY Corbyn has announced that he and Labour are in a ‘process of reflection’ on what voters mean by telling him to ‘p*ss off’.

Five desperate ways Farage can draw attention to himself again

NIGEL Farage is a bit irrelevant now. So how can he slither back into the limelight again?

F**k work, says Britain

THE UK has declared a spontaneous national day off following last night’s electoral trauma.

I never said I'd get Brexit done, says Johnson

BORIS Johnson has insisted this morning that at no point did he say he would get Brexit done.

Last three-and-a-half years a total waste of time

THE UK has realised it could have had this exact same result in August 2016 and the last three-and-a-half years have been totally pointless. 

Britain kicks itself in b*llocks again

THE UK has once again decided to kick itself in the metaphorical b*llocks by electing a Conservative government. 

Voters surrender to their inner bastard

MILLIONS of voters have admitted they are bastards who just want money.

If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, claims Corbyn

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn has told Boris Johnson that if he strikes him down, then it is he who will truly have lost.

Corbyn nasty bad man

JEREMY Corbyn is a bad, nasty man so you no vote for him.