Politics

MPs vote to kick Boris in the nuts pre-emptively

THE House of Commons has voted to give Boris Johnson a solid boot in the stones before he even starts. 

The upper-class guide to Brexit

THEY are taking their damn time about it, but Brexit is due to take place later this year. But how will it barely affect the upper classes?

Boris's guide to being Trump's bitch

WHAT ho! If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that sometimes you can’t avoid kissing the a*se of an unstable orange buffoon. Here’s how to do it.

How Labour's half-ars*d car-crash of a Brexit policy will fail to work: a timeline

JEREMY Corbyn yesterday announced Labour’s new cock-up of a Brexit policy that nobody will vote for. But how will it fall apart in practice?

Donald Trump's six-step plan to how Brexit should have been done

I TOLD Theresa May how Brexit should be done, but she decided to go another way. The wrong way, because it wasn’t the Trump way. Here’s how it should have been done:

Anne Widdecombe's guide to slavery

WE’VE heard plenty about slavery involving Africans who suffered this and went through that. But what about the worst form of slavery in history, Britain’s subjugation by the EU? 

What sort of no-deal Brexit idiot are you?

ARE you one of those people who’s decided to ignore every Brexit problem and just demand ‘no-deal’? Read our guide to what sort of bloodyminded idiot you are.

The five stages of accepting Boris Johnson will be prime minister

THE UK is slowly coming to terms with the fact that Boris Johnson will be our next prime minister – but how far along are you in the process?

Johnson or Corbyn - who would be the worst company?

DUE to a hospitality mix-up, you’ve invited either prime-minister-in-waiting Boris Johnson or prime-minister-in-exile Jeremy Corbyn to a dinner party. But which would be the worst company?

How Boris Johnson's immigration points system will work

BORIS Johnson wants to bring in an immigration points system for the UK. But how will it work?

'They call me… The Busmaker'

CONSERVATIVE leadership candidate Boris Johnson has revealed himself to be the mysterious Busmaker of myth and legend.

Johnson pledges tax cut for unicorn breeders

BORIS Johnson has vowed to slash taxes for Britain’s hard-pressed unicorn breeders.