I got away with it, by Dominic Cummings

I TOTALLY got away with it. You thought I wouldn’t. You said I wouldn’t. You wrote big articles about how I wouldn’t. But guess what, f**kers? I did.

Rees-Mogg to insist MPs distance by five-sevenths of an imperial fathom

JACOB Rees-Mogg is insisting that social distancing in the Commons is carried out with long-forgotten imperial measurements. 

Starmer outrages Britain with sickeningly partisan suggestion that things aren't going brilliantly

LABOUR leader Keir Starmer has alienated ordinary Britons with a vicious and destablising attack on the government which is only doing its best.

How is Jacob Rees-Mogg trolling everyone today?

JACOB Rees-Mogg is back on his bullshit, but what is the professional troll up to today?

Five ironic punishments for Cummings that would appease the British public

THE anger towards the PM’s senior adviser doesn’t seem to be dying down. Perhaps these punishments could satisfy the country’s rage?

Cummings changes blog to say he guessed the twist in The Sixth Sense

SPECIAL adviser Dominic Cummings has changed his blog to suggest he knew Bruce Willis was dead the whole time in The Sixth Sense

Boris Johnson's tortured 3am thoughts about Dominic Cummings

EVER wondered what Boris Johnson really thinks about his chief adviser in the terrifying early hours of the morning? Here are his troubled thoughts.

A day in the busy life of Boris Johnson

BEING prime minister is what we at Eton used to call an ‘awful fag’. Here’s what a typical day consists of for me, Boris Johnson, the greatest PM since Churchill.

Cummings revealed to be one of Boris Johnson's children

BORIS Johnson is defending Dominic Cummings so robustly because he is one of his illegitimate children, it has emerged. 

Tories urge country not to politicise politicians being bad at politics

THE CONSERVATIVE Party has asked Britain not to turn their current political f**k up into something political.

Government defends Cummings' decision to go dogging

DOMINIC Cummings’ lockdown visit to a popular dogging site was entirely appropriate, the government has confirmed.

Britain knew Johnson would never deceive them over affair with a blonde

A RELIEVED nation has confessed they knew their hero Boris Johnson would never use his position to have tawdry sex with a blonde American.