Your guide to voting in the local elections

IF you’re diligently trogging round to your old primary school to vote in the local elections, what should you do? Read our guide.

Brexiter discovers 'House of Lords'

THERE is apparently a ‘House of Lords’ which should be abolished immediately, a Brexiter has discovered. 

I can't believe that f**king worked, says May

THERESA May is stunned that Amber Rudd's resignation caused everyone to forget the Windrush deportations were entirely her idea, she had admitted.

Are you a liar or just incompetent? Take our test to find out

IN OUR busy modern world, it can be hard to tell if you're a liar or just flat-out incompetent. Answer these simple questions to find out.

Roy Chubby Brown confirmed as new home secretary

COMEDIAN Roy Chubby Brown is the new home secretary, Theresa May has confirmed.

Queen urged to f**k up his hair at the very least

THE Queen has been told that if she is to meet Donald Trump, the very least she can do is mess up his hair.  

I am ready for any Brexit hardship, says man who's upset if his boiled egg isn’t just right

A MAN claims he is ready to make any sacrifice for Brexit despite being extremely picky about everything.  

Kanye West could be next twat president

IT IS now a strong possibility that rapper and colossal twat Kanye West will become president of the US, experts believe.