THE prime minister, who will give a Brexit speech at 11pm tonight, has confirmed he will only make speeches when Britain is sh*tfaced.
ARE you a Brexiter with mad ideas about life after Brexit, or a ridiculously melodramatic Remainer? Here are some things that won’t be happening.
A BREXIT rally has been attended by almost 150 people who do not appear to have a f**king clue about what they are celebrating.
DAILY Express readers have blamed political correctness gone mad for not being allowed to burn Remainers alive in a wicker man on Brexit Eve.
HUMAN sexual responses are complex and affected by a wide range of stimuli. But does your penis only become tumescent by waving a tiny Union Jack or are you normal?
ARE you a Guardian reader who wants to show their support for the EU as we leave tomorrow? Here’s how to hold an event that’s embarrassingly middle class.
MOST of the Brexit celebrations planned for Friday will be xenophobic bordering on actually racist, Leave voters have admitted.
CHANCELLOR of the Exchequer Sajid Javid may not know how trade with the EU works, but it doesn’t end there. Here he answers more questions about the world around us.
BORIS Johnson has promised a points-based immigration after Brexit, but Australia’s got that and they’re still mad racist. Here are a few systems Brexiters would prefer.
BIG Ben may not be bonging, but that’s no reason not to celebrate leaving the world’s largest trading bloc on January 31st.
BIG BEN bonging for Brexit is the worst charitable cause since a druggie with a stolen charity tin rattled it around the local, but the cretins who support it live among us.
THE prime minister has appeared on ITV’s breakfast television show for a tough interview with 1980s puppet presenter Roland Rat.