Politics

The Wetherspoons customer's guide to a no-deal Brexit

ARE you a pants-wetting Remoaner who’s worried about no-deal Brexit? Here Wetherspoons regular Normal Steele answers your questions at 10am with a pint.

Second referendum to ask 'Do you want everything to be brilliant?'

A SECOND referendum will ask voters if they want everything to be brilliant from now on or if they are against that.

May asks for same changes to same plan so same MPs can vote same way

THERESA May has confirmed that she will take the same plan back to Brussels to ask for the same changes before the same MPs vote on it the same way. 

Unite behind me you twats, says May at cross-party talks

THE prime minister has asked the twat leaders of other parties she clearly despises to unite behind her and her Brexit deal immediately.

Theresa May's guide to hanging on like an idiot

IT’S not just prime ministers who should never give up! Here are my tips for hanging on grimly in everyday life.

Strong and stable government to continue

THE UK has once again thanked the DUP for ensuring Britain has a strong and stable government.

Karma, agrees Britain

BRITAIN has agreed that Theresa May's humiliating defeat is undeniable evidence of karma.

All options ruled out

THE UK’s political leaders have ruled out the Brexit deal, a no-deal Brexit, a second referendum, a general election, remaining in the EU and continuing the current situation.

Man keeps peeking out window to see if riots have started yet

A 52-YEAR-OLD man his peeking out the window every 1o minutes to see if the riots have begun on his road.

Labelling half the country whining Remoaner twats 'not the best idea', admits May

CALLING half of UK voters losers who should shut their traitor mouths forever may not have been a brilliant idea, Theresa May has admitted.

'So, we're all agreed this is a great deal' confirms May

THERESA May is happy that everyone thinks her Brexit deal is brilliant in every possible way.

What sort of shit sandwich do you want? asks May

THERESA May has generously offered Britain a choice between a shit sandwich and a particularly nasty shit sandwich.