I superforecasted all this, says Cummings

DOMINIC Cummings has confirmed that he superforecasted everything about the current Downing Street row, including being out on his arse. 

Carrie Symonds announces cabinet reshuffle

CARRIE Symonds, in her capacity as prime minister’s consort, has announced a full cabinet reshuffle. 

The president cannot reverse time: Trump's lies fact-checked

PRESIDENT Trump last night made a number of claims to the American people of dubious veracity. Here we fact-check them one by one. 

'How's that US trade deal looking?' Remainers ask Brexiters

BREXITERS have been asked for an update on Britain’s amazing trade deal with America now that Donald Trump is likely to lose.

Why counting votes is undemocratic, by a MAGA twat

SNEAKY Democrats are trying to sabotage this election by placing more votes for their candidate than us Republicans. Let me explain why that undermines democracy while I disrupt ballot counting.

Looks like I've a substantial chance of getting away with my bullshit, says cheerful Johnson

BORIS Johnson has a spring in his step this morning after seeing US voters vote for a lying bastard with nonsense hair in massive numbers.

Five politicians you're completely opposed to but secretly fancy

POLITICS has become so polarised that it’s impossible to admit that you wouldn’t mind giving Dominic Raab one. Form a cross-party coalition with these five...

Farage launches Why Don't I Just F**k Off? Party

NIGEL Farage is making an electoral comeback with a party dedicated to finally making him f**k off permanently.

Six ways to fake your own death, by Boris Johnson

EVER found yourself trapped in an intolerable situation you can’t back out of? Faking your own death begins to seem like the answer.

Dom Cummings announces Lockdown 2 tour dates

DOMINIC Cummings has announced the dates of his forthcoming four-week Lockdown 2 tour of the UK.

The Tory party guide to purging your party of racism

LABOUR is in turmoil over its handling of antisemitism. Here Tory minister Norman Steele explains how his party is completely free of racism and welcomes people of a funny colour.

Corbyn supporter sure he can still win the next election

A SUPPORTER of Jeremy Corbyn firmly believes he can bounce back from losing the 2019 election, resigning as leader and being suspended from the party yesterday.