Politics

Useless headmistress cross again

THE headmistress has called another special assembly to tell pupils and teachers alike how very cross she is with them.

Nine f**king days left

THERE are nine – nine! – fucking days left until economic armageddon and still the same shit is going on, Britain has realised.

Defeat-addicted government doesn't know where to go for next fix

THE government has admitted it is addicted to parliamentary defeats and is already jonesing for another one.

I only smirked because it was f**king hilarious, says Bercow

THE Speaker of the House has clarified that he only smirked when cancelling a third Brexit vote yesterday because it was so incredibly funny.

Brexit marchers demand emergency airdrop from EU

HUNGRY, exhausted Brexit marchers have demanded an emergency airdrop of food, shoes and clothing from the EU if they are to continue. 

How's that Brexit street party going?

IF you’re a Brexiter, don’t let Brexit being delayed and turning into a total shambles stop you having a fantastic street party. Here’s how to plan an unforgettable event.

How about we make March 29th the day you piss off? Britain tells May

THE UK has suggested to Theresa May that if she still wants to make March 29th special it could be the day she finally fucks off.

We call her 'dickhead' to her face and she does nothing, cabinet confirms

THE cabinet have confirmed that they openly refer to Theresa May as ‘the dickhead’ in meetings and she acts like she has not heard.

So what exactly is a 'tariff'? ask Brexit voters

BREXIT voters have asked what a ‘tariff' is after discovering the term this morning.

I'm not even dipping a toe in that f**king mess, says Queen

THE Queen has responded to Brexiter calls to dissolve parliament by clarifying she is going nowhere near that shitstorm.

Another six times and it'll pass unanimously, calculates May

THERESA May has calculated that if her deal keeps gaining support at the current rate it only needs another six votes to pass unanimously.

I'm your prime minister now

Hello there, I am Arlene Foster, leader of the DUP and your new prime minister, and I have a few changes in mind.