Politics

Dominic Raab to petrol bomb your house then petrol bomb the fire brigade

DOMINIC Raab has unveiled plans to throw petrol bombs at your house and then petrol bomb the fire engine as soon as it arrives.

Northern Ireland re-named 'West Belgium' in Brexit deal

THE finalised Brexit deal imposes full EU rules on Northern Ireland, changes its official language to Flemish, bans religion and renames it West Belgium.

Shit finally completes 29-month journey towards fan

THE bucketful of shit first upended in June 2016 has finally completed its slow 29-month journey through the air and is now hitting the fan.

Don't stay together on our account, Britain tells Tories

THE UK has told the Conservative party that if it is trying to hold things together for their sake then go ahead and split up.

Dominic Raab's guide to the British Isles

AFTER discovering Britain is surrounded by water, Brexit secretary Dominic Raab shares his insights into the British Isles which everyone else already knew.

UK only getting for Christmas what it wanted in June 2016, Tories confirm

THE UK is only allowed the Christmas gifts it wanted on a whim in June 2016 whether or not it has changed its mind since, the government has confirmed.

Brexiter watching Britain 'take back control' from luxury mansion in France

A LEADING Brexiter feels the unfolding chaos of Brexit is going well from the vantage point of his massive house in France.