Politics

Jeremy Corbyn's foolproof guide to losing an election

ARE you the leader of a political party trying to beat the most awful government in recent memory? Here Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn gives his advice on stuffing it up.

Brexiter keeps peeking out window to see if Britain has exploded

A 52-YEAR-OLD man his peeking out the window every 1o minutes to see if the riots have begun on his road.

Never, ever say 'jog on' again, Corbyn told

JEREMY Corbyn has been told never to use the phrase ‘jog on’ again.

Brexiter looks out at Britain still slaving under the yoke of unspeakable tyranny

A BREXITER who hoped this morning would be his first in a free Britain has instead woken up to another day as a serf in a vassal state.

Five Christmas presents you'd like to give Boris Johnson

BORIS Johnson deserves the worst Christmas presents ever this year. Here are some suggestions. 

The guide to pretending you've got a f**king clue what's going to happen

NOBODY has a bloody clue what is going to happen in December’s election, and it’s pointless pretending otherwise. Here’s how you can.

Johnson to campaign on leaving EU on October 31st no matter what

BORIS Johnson is to centre his election campaign around his do-or-die promise that Britain will leave the EU on October 31st this year.

'More politics? How absolutely f**king fantastic', says Britain

AN ECSTATIC Britain has thanked MPs for calling an early general election because it just cannot get enough of politicians on the news.

All the reasons why it's not Boris's fault

BORIS Johnson became prime minister on the back of a firm commitment to leave the EU on October 31st, which we won’t be. But it’s not his fault.

Is there a chance Brexit isn't working because it's total sh*t? ask Remainers

REMAIN voters have put forward the tentative theory that Brexit may not be working out because it is fundamentally flawed and pointless.

The conditions attached to the EU's latest Brexit extension

THE EU has granted Britain a third Brexit extension, this one for just three months. But a number of stringent conditions are attached.

The BBC vox pop moron's guide to the general election

ARE you the sort of person the BBC interviews in shopping precincts during the day for your banal opinions? Here moron Norman Steele gives his advice on voting in a December election.