Politics

Brexiter watching Britain 'take back control' from luxury mansion in France

A LEADING Brexiter feels the unfolding chaos of Brexit is going well from the vantage point of his massive house in France.

Hammond delivers upbeat Budget based on drug-induced dreamscape filled with electric unicorns

CHANCELLOR Philip Hammond has predicted an economic boom after a dream he had about electric unicorns.

We're in this f**king mess because Ed Miliband eats bacon like a horse, confirm experts

BRITAIN is f**ked into a cocked hat because the former leader of the Labour Party did not know how to eat bacon, experts have confirmed.  

Remainer torn between feeling extremely smug and extremely terrified

A REMAINER'S pleasing feelings of superiority over other voters have been marred by genuine terror over what is coming next.

Shit-shoveller to keep job until all the shit is shovelled

THERESA May is allowed to keep her position as universally loathed shit-shoveller until the shit is shovelled, the Conservatives have confirmed.

We were actually far more liberal than he is, says Victorian ghost child about Jacob Rees-Mogg

THE ghost of a Victorian child has distanced herself and her era from the cruel policies of Jacob Rees-Mogg.

It is the year 2137. Brexit has still not happened. Theresa May is still prime minister

MORE than a century into the future, the UK is still waiting for the EU to come up with a creative solution to the Northern Ireland border.