MILLIONS of decent, honest Britons today face the troubling prospect of being on the same side of an argument as the Daily Mail.
Across the country people who have a principled opposition to voting reform wept into their toast after realising that on some level their brain was in tune with the brain of Paul Dacre.
Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “I like first past the post because it makes it easier to kick out bad governments. Now, however I am forced to assume it must be pure… fucking… evil.
“I guess Britain under AV will somehow make carefully worded racism, sneering misogyny and nauseatingly immoral scare mongering more difficult or less profitable.”
Emma Bradford, from Finsbury Park, said she was worried AV would give greater influence to extremists but could not understand why this would be a problem in any way whatsoever for the Daily Mail.
She added: “Maybe Dacre is actually trying to get me to vote for AV in a way that does not involve him having to publicly agree with people he thinks are communist child molesters.
“The old double blufferoo. He’s a wily fox, that one.”
But Jane Thompson, from Peterborough, said: “If AV meant more power for the BNP then Dacre would hate that because then Britain would be the way he wanted it rather than the way it is, which currently makes him an awful lot of money.”
She added: “I just feel that voting reform is not the priority right now and that instead we should focus on having more MPs who aren’t, you know, fuckers.”
Bill McKay, from Stevenage, said: “I think the simplest thing from my point of view is to vote against AV and then kill myself.
“It keeps everything nice and neat and I won’t have look in the mirror and see my pathetic, shitty, Daily Mail-agreeing-with face.